There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

this

Linking Words

contemporary era, getting an education is very expensive

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

the subjects are arduous and

time consuming

Use the right word

time-consuming

show examples

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

. that

show examples

that

Fix capitalization

That

show examples

is why some people think that the

extra-curriculum

Use the right word

extra-curricular

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

should be removed so ,children can better focus on their main academic subjects .

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

I do not agree with

this

Linking Words

statement because

non academic

Use the right word

non-academic

show examples

activities

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as cookery ,music have

ability

Correct article usage

the ability

show examples

to expand the horizon of pupils and provide them

spectacular

Change preposition

with spectacular

show examples

physical and mental health .I am going to provide my views in

upcoming

Correct article usage

the upcoming

show examples

paragraphs with logical structures. To commence with, these

activities

Use synonyms

act as

strss

Correct your spelling

stress

buster for the younger ones

Linking Words

thus

Punctuation problem

; thus

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

also

Linking Words

provide them amazing health and intellectual memory as both are interlinked with each other .

For instance

Linking Words

, as per a survey, those

Childern

Correct your spelling

children

who participate in sports , music competitions

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

power

Check wording

apply

show examples

This

Linking Words

way , it

assist

Correct subject-verb agreement

assists

show examples

them to boost their academic performance and

due to

Linking Words

less

stress

Punctuation problem

stress,

show examples

they can focus on each

topics

Fix the agreement mistake

topic

show examples

.Simultaneously, they become multi-tasked as they can handle both their studies and fun

activities

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

, they become independent later

Change preposition

show examples

their life because of

the

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

cooking skills

Linking Words

hence

Punctuation problem

; hence

show examples

they

Punctuation problem

, they

show examples

can cook and eat potent and

home made

Use the right word

homemade

show examples

food when they

will

Verb problem

apply

show examples

move to another country or city for their higher education.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, there are ample benefits if children opt for these classes . First and foremost, it helps to learn new skills which they can implement in their future in order to achieve distinctive goals and become

success

Replace the word

successful

show examples

because some children will choose it as their profession.

For instance

Linking Words

,Sanjeev Kapoor is an eminent chef in India

Punctuation problem

. he

show examples

Fix capitalization

show examples

has

Verb problem

apply

show examples

started his career at

very

Correct article usage

a very

show examples

young age .

Thus

Linking Words

,they will have more options to pursue in different

field

Fix the agreement mistake

fields

show examples

rather than science and math .

Moreover

Linking Words

,it is a source of education which allows youngsters to enhance their information and provide them

better

Change preposition

with better

show examples

insight.

To conclude

Linking Words

, some subjects are hard to understand

Linking Words

however

Punctuation problem

; however

show examples

, it

doesn't

Rephrase

does

show examples

not mean that

extra curriculum

Use the right word

extracurricular

show examples

tasks should be abolished from educational premises. In some schools, these are mandatory in order to

thrive

Verb problem

boost

show examples

the confidence of youngsters.

Kaurharvinder2984

Jul 21, 2025

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task achievement

Your introduction should clearly state your opinion on the topic. Make sure to include a clear thesis statement.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph discusses only one main idea to improve clarity and coherence. Use linking words to connect your ideas better, such as 'firstly', 'secondly', 'in addition', or 'however'.

task achievement

You need to provide specific examples that directly support your points. For example, mention a personal experience or a specific study that shows the benefits of non-academic subjects.

task achievement

You clearly express your opinion against removing non-academic subjects, which shows your engagement with the topic.

task achievement

You included some relevant examples from well-known figures, which adds value to your argument.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

350 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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