IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Nowadays, numerous
people
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 want to be self-employed
instead
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 of working for a corporation or firm.
This
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 essay will first demonstrate why
such
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 a preference can exist, so
for
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apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Use the right word
that
show examples
,
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apply
show examples
people
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 do not want to work in a pressurised environment, and do a
job
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 freely,
then
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 some disadvantages of being self-employed, like it can lead to becoming an introverted person and being less interactive with others. On the one hand, being self-employed is chosen by many
people
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.
This
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 is because of the
job
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 culture of any company to pressurise their employee to finish the tasks on time or within time.
As a result
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, it would create mental stress, ultimately.
Moreover
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,
people
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 want to work freely
according to
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 their own time. Because of
this
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, they can concentrate effectively on their work, and its outcome will be satisfactory.
For example
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, a research study of Asia has revealed that 60% of
people
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 in the USA are self-employed, and it is going to be their first priority in future.
On the other hand
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, those who select their career as self-employed
,
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apply
show examples
 it is more likely to be introverted , where they want to stay isolated, and it can give them joy.
Furthermore
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, it can lead to less interaction with other
people
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.
Consequently
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, they can limit their relationship only to family.
For instance
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, my childhood friend is very shy and does not want to make more friends in his life because of his isolated
job
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. In conclusion, being self-employed can be the best choice, but it can lead you towards loneliness. So,
people
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 can take a self-employed
job
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 as a career, but
this
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job
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 selection should be made wisely, if they are ready to face positive
as well as
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 negative challenges.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This would make your arguments stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and topic sentence to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Expand on your ideas with explanations to develop them fully.
coherence and cohesion
Connect your ideas more effectively with linking words and phrases.
task achievement
You clearly identified the reasons why people choose self-employment.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • company
  • organization
  • freedom
  • independence
  • income potential
  • flexibility
  • working hours
  • working location
  • passions
  • interests
  • decision-making
  • business practices
  • disadvantages
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