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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries. The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian export with four countries. The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012
The line graph illustrates the percentages of
Australian
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 four countries. It indicates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
Australian
Use synonyms
 exports to 4 countries between 1990 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 has been
clearly
Replace the word
clear
show examples
 that Japan
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 in 1990. It was gradually 26%. Meanwhile, the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 in 1990 was in India. It is gradually 3%.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, India and
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest proportions of
Use synonyms
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 in 2012. China was the highest proportion of
Australian
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 in 2012. It was estimated
28
Verb problem
to be 28
show examples
%.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Japan
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest 
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 other than three countries in
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
 1990. After 1990,
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
export
Use synonyms
's portion in Japan
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 to
slightly fall
Correct word order
fall slightly
show examples
 to 20% in 1995.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, it
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 to decline to 20% in 2000. From 2000 to 2012, the proportions started to be remained. India,
in addition
Linking Words
 to China,
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
 similar rates between 1990 and 2000. Their proportions were 3%. From 2000 to 2012 , China
sharp
Replace the word
sharply
show examples
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
approximately percentages of 28. Meanwhile, the rates of
export
Use synonyms
Indian
Change preposition
of Indian
show examples
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
remained between 1990 and 2000. Afterwards, it
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gradually
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
 from 2000 to 2010. The rates were nearly 7% in 2010.
Then
Linking Words
,it was dropped to 5%. Us portions of
Australian
Use synonyms
 exports
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
 in 1995 to 8%. The portions
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
 to 11% in 2000. 
Subsequently
Linking Words
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 declined to 5% in
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 it
slighlty
Correct your spelling
slightly
growed
Verb problem
grew
show examples
 to 6% in 2012.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "subsequently".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 89%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australian, export, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rised" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Line graph
  • Percentage
  • Exports
  • Trend analysis
  • Upward/downward trend
  • Fluctuation
  • Comparison
  • Peak performance
  • Decline
  • Stability
  • Significant
  • Inferred
  • Global events
  • Economic context
  • Reflect
  • Influence
  • Patterns
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