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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In recent times, the issue of career choices after high school has emerged as a matter of significant concern to the general public. Some individuals maintain that higher
education
Use synonyms
 is the best pathway to success,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that entering
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
show examples
 immediately after finishing school is more beneficial. Both views will be discussed before I present my own opinion. On the one hand, people should
recognize
Use the right word
recognise
show examples
 the value of a university degree in today’s job market. A very important point to consider is that many professions require formal qualifications.
This
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 means that it is impossible to become a doctor,
engeineer
Correct your spelling
engineer
, or lawyer without a degree. To illustrate, medical students must study for many years at university before they can work in hospitals. Another key point is that
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
 life can help young people enhance crucial soft skills.
This
Linking Words
 is because of the fact that they often participate in group projects and presentations, which prepare them for future careers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is equally important to consider that it can be advantageous to start work straight after high school. One convincing argument is that early work experience helps youngsters gain practical skills.
This
Linking Words
 suggests that they may progress faster in hands-on fields
such
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 as mechanics, sales or cooking.
In addition
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, a growing number of people believe that early employment allows individuals to avoid the high cost of higher
education
Use synonyms
. The underlying reason is that university
education
Use synonyms
 can be expensive
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 not everyone can afford it. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 it is true that
particiapating
Correct your spelling
participating
 in the workforce early offers experience and income, it is
also
Linking Words
 undeniable that higher
education
Use synonyms
 provides long-term career benefits and essential qualifications. Personally, I believe that
pursuring
Correct your spelling
pursuing
 tertiary
education
Use synonyms
 is
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 option.

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task achievement
Make sure to address each part of the task clearly. You can include more examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the flow of your essay by linking your ideas more smoothly. Use transition words to connect sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling mistakes and grammar errors. Simple mistakes can affect the clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
You presented both views well, which shows you understood the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, helping me understand your essay's focus.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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