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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the milk export figures from three European countries between 2008 and 2012.between 2008 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the milk export figures from three European countries between 2008 and 2012.between 2008 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart gives information about the amount of
milk
Use synonyms
 exported by three European countries
;
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 Italy, Russia and Poland, from 2008 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
milk
Use synonyms
 exports in Russia increased, exports in Poland decreased.Italy’s
milk
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export
Use synonyms
 remained constant over the period. As the chart shows, between 2008 and 2010, Russia’s
milk
Use synonyms
export
Use synonyms
 figures showed a significant growth.In 2008, it was around 25
million
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 and followed by an increase to 30
million
Use synonyms
 in 2009.In 2010, it reached a peak of almost 40
million
Use synonyms
 tonnes.
However
Linking Words
, the amount of
milk
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
export
Replace the word
exported
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 dropped sharply from 40
million
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 to about 26
million
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
milk
Use synonyms
export
Use synonyms
 in Poland showed a decrease from 2008 to 2010. In 2008, it was approximately 12
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 it declined to 6
million
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
Then
Linking Words
, it experienced a rise from 6
million
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 to approximately 14
million
Use synonyms
. As for Italy,
milk
Use synonyms
 exports remained steady, ranging from about 17 to 20
million
Use synonyms
 tonnes over the period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words milk, export, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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