IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the propotions of British students at one University in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the propotions of British students at one University in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English in 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart depicts the percentages of Britain pupils at one
Univeristy
Correct your spelling
university
 in England who can speak different languages over English, from 2000 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of the
Spanish
Use synonyms
bilangual
Correct your spelling
bilingual
 was highest in both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
years,
while
Linking Words
 the No other
language
Use synonyms
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
French
percentage
Check wording
apply
show examples
was second highest in 2000
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the Another
language
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
took over in 2010.
Firstly
Linking Words
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 2000, the speakers who
knows
Wrong verb form
knew
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Spanish
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the leading,
while
Linking Words
 the
Two
Fix capitalization
two
show examples
 other
lenguage
Correct your spelling
languages
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
german
Fix capitalization
German
show examples
only was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest amount of percentage with 10%. The French speakers and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
No
Fix capitalization
no
show examples
 other
language
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 with 15%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
Another
Fix capitalization
another
show examples
language
Use synonyms
percentage
Check wording
apply
show examples
was
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20%.
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
 in 2010,
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of people
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 able to speak
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Spanish
Use synonyms
 again
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 35% people.
The no
Correct determiner usage
No
show examples
 other
language
Use synonyms
 was leading on number 2 with 20% speakers,
while
Linking Words
 all
other four
Correct word order
four other
show examples
 languages with 10%. In
comparison
Add a comma
comparison,
show examples
 the
Spanish
Use synonyms
 and the only English speaking students
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 highest in both of the years.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words spanish, language with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: