IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph show the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012. Write 150 words.

The line graph show the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012. Write 150 words.
The line graph provides key information about the
percentage
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 of Australian
exports
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 to Japan, the US,
China
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, and India over the
period
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 between 1990 and 2012. The units are measured in proportion.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that the
percentage
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 of
exports
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 to
China
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 experienced an upward trend,
while
Linking Words
 the
percentage
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 of Australian
exports
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 to the US fluctuated. The
percentage
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 of
exports
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 to India had the lowest figures throughout the
period
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. At the start of the
period
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, the
percentage
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 of
exports
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 to
China
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 decreased by around 2%,
then
Linking Words
 rose sharply to 30%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
percentage
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 of
exports
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 to India declines steadily from 1% to 6%. The figures for the rate of
exports
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 to the US fluctuated between 1990 and 2000,
also
Linking Words
 it was the highest at around 27% in 1990,
then
Linking Words
 showed a decrease to 17% in 2012.
At the end
Linking Words
, the proportion of
exports
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 to
China
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 had the highest figures
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, exports, china, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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