These days many young people are spending less time doing outdoor activities such az hiking, mountain climbing, and enjoing nature. What are the reasons for it? How can we encourage them to do more of these activities?

Today,

although

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

are spending a lot of

time

Use synonyms

doing indoor

activities

Use synonyms

, we have to convince

the

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

to do more outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

. Webinars and social platforms' content would encourage them to do more outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

. The first reason why

people

Use synonyms

are not spending more

time

Use synonyms

doing outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

is the hectic pace of life. They have a lot of tasks to do. Spending hours at work or nurturing their children,

for example

Linking Words

, are

time

Use synonyms

-consuming. As a result, there is less

time

Use synonyms

doing some extra leisure

activities

Use synonyms

. Another reason is

technoligical

Correct your spelling

technological

advancement, especially in the field of

games

Fix the agreement mistake

game

show examples

devolopments

Correct your spelling

development

. These

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

lesure

Correct your spelling

leisure

activities

Use synonyms

are attractive and many

people

Use synonyms

prefer staying at home and doing so.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they

Verb problem

do have

show examples

have not

Correct word order

not have

show examples

enough

time

Use synonyms

to do outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

. Encouraging

people

Use synonyms

to do

such

Linking Words

activities

Use synonyms

would be beneficial. One way to do

this

Linking Words

that

Change preposition

show examples

improving

Wrong verb form

improve

show examples

their health

counsious

Correct your spelling

consciousness

. Some

people

Use synonyms

could hold

Correct article usage

an atractive

show examples

atractive

Correct your spelling

attractive

webinar about the importance of physical

activities

Use synonyms

and their impact on health.

participating

Fix capitalization

Participating

show examples

in these webinars would be beneficial.

Additinally

Correct your spelling

Additionally

, nowadays,

people

Use synonyms

Verb problem

are spendting

show examples

spendting

Correct your spelling

spending

a lot of

time

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

instagram

Fix capitalization

Instagram

show examples

youtube

Use the right word

YouTube

show examples

, and other online platforms. If

influencer

Fix the agreement mistake

influencers

show examples

and video creator make content which

advocate

Correct subject-verb agreement

advocates

show examples

outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

, their follower would be aware of

impacts

Correct article usage

the impacts

show examples

on their life.

Linking Words

Fix capitalization

Furthermore

show examples

furthermore

Add a comma

furthermore,

show examples

it is less likely

spending

Wrong verb form

to spend

show examples

much

time

Use synonyms

at home. In conclusion,

people

Use synonyms

prefer to do indoor

activities

Use synonyms

, because

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

hectic pace of life and

thechnology

Correct your spelling

technological

advancement. Holding

health concious

Correct your spelling

health-conscious

webinars and creating beneficial content on online platforms would encourage them to do more outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

behradbana1

Jul 23, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay does address the question, but you can expand on your ideas and give more details.

coherence and cohesion

Try to improve the flow of your essay by using better linking words and phrases.

language

Check your spelling and grammar carefully to avoid small mistakes that can distract a reader.

structure

You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

content

You mention relevant points about reasons for indoor activities, which is good.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Suggestions & mistake analysis
Find every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary
Expand your ideas and use the right words.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Nowadays, more and more children are being brought up in single parent families. What are the causes of this? What effects can be seen as a result of this?
The number of children who are being raised by single parents significantly increases these days. Many people believe it is caused by several issues in their families which in turn affects their kids directly. In this essay, both of the reasons and effects to the offspring will be outlined before reaching a conclusion.
7.5
band
The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on the same jobs and the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes of this phenomenon and the ways in which people in the future can prepare for this rapid change in the workplace.
As a result of globalization, the fields of work are dramatically changing, so the workers cannot work for the same livelihood, and the same working environments for life. This rising problem is possibly due to increasing cutting-edge technologies, however, it can be mitigated doing continuous skills development by the job holders.
6
band
Technology is being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Recently, using of technology in education has been increasing. Some people think that it is a beneficial change, while others believe that it has many adverse implications for students. I am convinced that it is an advantageous trend which can improve the educational process, nevertheless, it should be used under strict and clear rules.
6.5
band
That's no job positions are made specifically for men, and women are capable of any occupation. Do you agree or disagree?
It’s argued that no job positions are made specifically for men, and women are capable of any occupation. I completely agree with this idea. Anyone who has the abilities and skills required can get the job, and gender shouldn’t be an employment requirement companies ask for.
8
band
Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty.
Capital punishment is a legally authorized killing of a convicted criminal, and due to its nature, it continues to be a subject of debate. For some, the death penalty is a sensible way to punish violent criminals, while others claim that the death penalty should not be utilized in the contemporary world. There are numerous reasons why such disagreements exist, and the most critical factors in the given discussion are related to retribution, the cost-effectiveness of this punishment’s implementation, moral values and the risks of wrongful executions.

These days many young people are spending less time doing outdoor activities such az hiking, mountain climbing, and enjoing nature. What are the reasons for it? How can we encourage them to do more of these activities?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Nowadays, more and more children are being brought up in single parent families. What are the causes of this? What effects can be seen as a result of this?

The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on the same jobs and the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes of this phenomenon and the ways in which people in the future can prepare for this rapid change in the workplace.

Technology is being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

That's no job positions are made specifically for men, and women are capable of any occupation. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty.