Improvementa in health, 3ducation and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There is no denying the fact that there
is
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are
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a lot of poor
countries
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that need to pay more attention to them.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that the rich nations should take
actions
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action
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to help the poorer nations, there is
also
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an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I agree that governments of rich nations should take responsibility for helping the poor
countries
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.
To begin
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with, everyone should have the right to learn.
In other words
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, many poor families force their children to work
instead
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of studying, because they don't have enough money.
In addition
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, they are easy targets for criminals, young and alone in the streets.
For instance
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,
syrian
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Syrian
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kids in
turkey
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Turkey
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. The rate of them are either getting kidnapped or abused is rapidly increasing. Another point to consider is that
the
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apply
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capable governments should take responsibility for helping them. It is
also
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possible to say that sending some money or food aid programs to help decrease the poverty level.
Moreover
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, some individuals volunteer to provide the needed assistance,
such
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as help to rebuild buildings, teaching kids, and providing support for the women. Some
countries
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like
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, like
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Saudi Arabia and Oman both are offering free flights to poor
countries
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.
For example
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,
zenjbar
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Zenjbar
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,
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apply
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which
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apply
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is a small island with low facilities. Many adults volunteer there and teach children some basic English and maths. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that the rich
countries
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must help the poor
countries
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and secure their needs, especially kids.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear but could be more engaging. Try starting with a strong statement about the importance of help from rich nations.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader. This will help with the overall structure of your essay.
task achievement
Add more specific examples in your points. For instance, you mentioned Syrian kids in Turkey; explain how they are affected by lack of education.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas better. Use linking words like 'firstly,' 'next,' and 'finally' to help readers follow your argument.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion that governments of rich nations should help poorer nations, which is a solid position.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear conclusion that restates your opinion, which helps to conclude your argument effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • essential
  • development
  • poorer nations
  • governments
  • richer nations
  • responsibility
  • improvement
  • healthcare
  • education
  • trade
  • cooperation
  • mutual benefits
  • financial aid
  • technical expertise
  • resources
  • global stability
  • reduce inequalities
  • international organizations
  • NGOs
  • facilitating
  • assistance
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