Improvementa in health, 3ducation and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There is no denying the fact that some factors
like
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, like
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commerce and
education
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education,
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are important to improve developing countries.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that developed countries should assist poverty
people
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, there is
also
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an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that
people
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must help each other.
To begin
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with, nations will lose their humanity if they avoid helping poor
people
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.
In other words
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, helping poor citizens will enhance our behaviour and protect us from being selfish.
In addition
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, the desire
of helping
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to help
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play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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a major role in building
civilization
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civilisation
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and development .
For example
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, the sewing machine that
caused
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contributed
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to the industrial revolution
is
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was
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invented to help humans produce their clothes
easier
Rephrase
more easily
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. Another point to consider, helping
is
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apply
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does not cost much for richer nations and even
middle
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the middle
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class. It is
also
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possible to say that education services
it
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apply
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need
people
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more than funds.
For instance
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,
according to
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statistics conducted
on
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by
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American
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the American
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Association, the amount of money
that spending
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spent
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in Africa on education services
is cost
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costs
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around two
millions
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million
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dollars annually.
Moreover
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, you can help them to develop by lending them some money,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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mean
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means
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help does not have to be by donation.
For example
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, many African countries
are
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have
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developed after the
world bank
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World Bank
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lending
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lent
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them and
giving
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gave
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them some
advices
Correct your spelling
advice
about how they have to use their money to improve their financial situation In conclusion, despite
people
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having different views, I believe that the rich class should provide assistance to the poor,
also
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people
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and governments should understand that the real development is development in behaviour.

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Task Achievement
Make your main ideas clearer and better linked to the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check for typos and missing spaces between sentences.
Task Achievement
You present a strong opinion about helping poorer nations.
Task Achievement
You use examples to support your ideas, like the sewing machine in the industrial revolution.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • essential
  • development
  • poorer nations
  • governments
  • richer nations
  • responsibility
  • improvement
  • healthcare
  • education
  • trade
  • cooperation
  • mutual benefits
  • financial aid
  • technical expertise
  • resources
  • global stability
  • reduce inequalities
  • international organizations
  • NGOs
  • facilitating
  • assistance
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