IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly salary

The bar chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly salary
This
Linking Words
 bar chart provides us with a clear view of the reasons why families spend their weekly money over the period from 1958 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the money
that is
Linking Words
 paid for food in 1968 is the most noticeable in the whole chart .
However
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 , the amount spent on personal goods remained the lowest in 2018, as the graph shows. In detail, it is visible that the people's interest has changed over the years because in
1968
Punctuation problem
1968,
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 they spent most of their salary on food, but in 2018, a massive amount went on leisure activities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, household goods are stable in both years and have not changed.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there is a huge difference in housing
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 actually , the spending in 2018 is two times more than what it was in 1968 .
Also
Linking Words
, families in 1968 cared more about clothing and footwear than people in 2018 .
However
Linking Words
, fuel and power did not change a lot between these years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.
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