People follow interests and have hobbies (e.g. collecting or making things). Do you think it is pointless? What can people learn from hobbies?

Some
people
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think that spending time on
hobbies
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and interests is a waste, but I completely disagree with them. In my opinion,
following
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the following
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hobbies
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is
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are
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meaningful and
brings
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bring
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many benefits. First of all,
hobbies
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help
people
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relax and reduce stress after a busy day.
For example
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, a student who loves playing the guitar may feel calm and happy when practicing music after school.
This
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helps him forget the pressure from exams and improves his mental health.
As a result
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, he can concentrate better the next day.
Besides
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that,
hobbies
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can teach useful skills.
People
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who enjoy writing stories may improve their imagination and communication,
while
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those who play team sports like football can develop teamwork and leadership. These skills are helpful not only in school or work but
also
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in daily life.
For instance
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, i have known a person who interested in writing stories. At
first,
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her parents really
oppose
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opposed
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it. They say that these stories are
such
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worthless. But
then
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after a big
arguement
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argument
with them, she
finally
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convince
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convinced
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them
let
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to let
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her follow her dream and they
finally
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agree
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agreed
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. Now she's a famous online author.
Moreover
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,
hobbies
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give
people
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a sense of purpose and happiness. When
people
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do something they love, they feel more confident and motivated.
For example
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, someone who enjoys photography may start sharing photos online, getting positive feedback, and even turning it into a small business one day. In conclusion,
hobbies
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are not pointless. They help
people
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relax, learn important skills, and feel more fulfilled. Everyone should have time to follow their interests
,
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apply
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because it makes life more balanced and meaningful.

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task achievement
Try to add more specific examples to support your ideas. For instance, when discussing skills learned from hobbies, consider giving another example of skills that can be used in life.
coherence and cohesion
Sometimes, sentences can be made clearer. Make sure each sentence clearly connects to the last for better flow. Adding linking words can help make this connection clearer.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, and you provide examples to support it. This is important for a strong essay.
task achievement
You explained how hobbies can reduce stress and improve skills well. This shows you understand the benefits of hobbies.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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