People follow interests and have hobbies (e.g. collecting or making things). Do you think it is pointless? What can people learn from hobbies?

Some

people

Use synonyms

think that spending time on

hobbies

Use synonyms

and interests is a waste, but I completely disagree with them. In my opinion,

following

Correct article usage

the following

show examples

hobbies

Use synonyms

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

meaningful and

brings

Correct subject-verb agreement

bring

show examples

many benefits. First of all,

hobbies

Use synonyms

help

people

Use synonyms

relax and reduce stress after a busy day.

For example

Linking Words

, a student who loves playing the guitar may feel calm and happy when practicing music after school.

This

Linking Words

helps him forget the pressure from exams and improves his mental health.

As a result

Linking Words

, he can concentrate better the next day.

Besides

Linking Words

that,

hobbies

Use synonyms

can teach useful skills.

People

Use synonyms

who enjoy writing stories may improve their imagination and communication,

while

Linking Words

those who play team sports like football can develop teamwork and leadership. These skills are helpful not only in school or work but

also

Linking Words

in daily life.

For instance

Linking Words

, i have known a person who interested in writing stories. At

first,

Linking Words

her parents really

oppose

Wrong verb form

opposed

show examples

it. They say that these stories are

such

Linking Words

worthless. But

then

Linking Words

after a big

arguement

Correct your spelling

argument

with them, she

finally

Linking Words

convince

Wrong verb form

convinced

show examples

them

let

Verb problem

to let

show examples

her follow her dream and they

finally

Linking Words

agree

Wrong verb form

agreed

show examples

. Now she's a famous online author.

Moreover

Linking Words

hobbies

Use synonyms

give

people

Use synonyms

a sense of purpose and happiness. When

people

Use synonyms

do something they love, they feel more confident and motivated.

For example

Linking Words

, someone who enjoys photography may start sharing photos online, getting positive feedback, and even turning it into a small business one day. In conclusion,

hobbies

Use synonyms

are not pointless. They help

people

Use synonyms

relax, learn important skills, and feel more fulfilled. Everyone should have time to follow their interests

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because it makes life more balanced and meaningful.

dohuyhoang

Jul 25, 2025

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task achievement

Try to add more specific examples to support your ideas. For instance, when discussing skills learned from hobbies, consider giving another example of skills that can be used in life.

coherence and cohesion

Sometimes, sentences can be made clearer. Make sure each sentence clearly connects to the last for better flow. Adding linking words can help make this connection clearer.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your opinion, and you provide examples to support it. This is important for a strong essay.

task achievement

You explained how hobbies can reduce stress and improve skills well. This shows you understand the benefits of hobbies.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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People follow interests and have hobbies (e.g. collecting or making things). Do you think it is pointless? What can people learn from hobbies?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that cars should be banned from city centers to reduce pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some scientists think that computers will soon become more intelligent than humans. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays more people are choosing to live with their friends or alone rather than with their families, this trend is likely to have a negative impact on community. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some people think that public libraries are no longer important due to the availability of digital information. Others believe that libraries still play a crucial role in society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.