In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

In some countries, a small number of individuals are reading newspapers or watching Television. I think that happened
due to
Linking Words
newly developed
devices
Use synonyms
,
as a result
Linking Words
replaced them. We can mitigate that by improving it, and making it functional than the advanced electronics.
To begin
Linking Words
with, people started watching the news on
devices
Use synonyms
other than
TV
Use synonyms
or newspapers. New electronics have a lot of features that are more advanced than others. The advanced
devices
Use synonyms
have different characteristics, which enable the user to access diverse platforms and news. You can
also
Linking Words
use some of them in any place, and they are simpler to use.
For instance
Linking Words
, Phones which can perform better than most televisions
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
, you can
also
Linking Words
use them very simply. Another point is that one of the solutions to the issue of replacing televisions
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
is to add futuristic technology. They must add a new features that are overcoming the new
devices
Use synonyms
, as a way of doing that, they need to employ experts engineering, who are having a great dexterity and ability,
then
Linking Words
TV
Use synonyms
can gains popularity again,
For example
Linking Words
Google invented a new
TV
Use synonyms
technology, that enables you to watch news throughout your glasses, as they add a several features to the glasses, as they installed AI into it In conclusion, citizens abandoned
TV
Use synonyms
and newspapers, because of the new available
devices
Use synonyms
which can function better than
TV
Use synonyms
, and can serve diverse magazines and channels. But we fix that by improving their disadvantages.
As
Change preposition
apply
show examples
They must employ professionals to help them with that.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Your essay has some good ideas, but it is not clear enough. Make sure each idea connects well to the main topic. Each paragraph should have a main idea that supports your argument.
task achievement
Try to add more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Make your introduction and conclusion clearer. State the main points better to help guide the reader through your essay.
task achievement
You have raised important points about technology replacing TV and newspapers, which is relevant to the topic.
task achievement
Some sentences show a good understanding of the subject and provide a basis for discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: