IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

People who were born in rural areas often move to big cities when they become adult. What are the reason for this? it ia a positive or negative trend?

Much of the world places
premium
Correct article usage
a premium
show examples
 on
live
Replace the word
living
show examples
 in developed
cities
Use synonyms
.There was a time when
this
Linking Words
 issue was so rampant
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 now time has
udergone
Correct your spelling
undergone
 a metaphoric change.People from small towns migrate to developed and developing
cites
Use the right word
cities
show examples
 for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 future.In my view,it is important to critically
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
analyze
Use the right word
analyse
show examples
 both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
 of
argument
Correct article usage
the argument
show examples
 before forming a well-rounded opinion. There
are
Verb problem
is are
show examples
 cluster of benefits that large
cities
Use synonyms
provided
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
.Better job opportunities can presumably be the biggest advantage
Linking Words
along
Punctuation problem
, along
show examples
 with many other benefits.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, large
cities
Use synonyms
 provide
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 lifestyle for
individuals
Use synonyms
 and their families.In
adulthood
Add a comma
adulthood,
show examples
individuals
Use synonyms
 are full of dreams and thoughts
they
Punctuation problem
; they
show examples
 need a platform where they can express these thoughts into
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
multi national
Use the right word
multinational
show examples
 companies established
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
headquters
Correct your spelling
headquarters
 in big
cities
Use synonyms
.
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
where they get
individuals
Use synonyms
 from every
background's
Check wording
background
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 streamlining the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 migration,its drawbacks cannot be sidelined.
overcrowded
Fix capitalization
Overcrowded
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
sought
Use the right word
sought-after
show examples
 drawback of
this
Linking Words
 development.It is difficult
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
individuals
Use synonyms
 to move
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
develope
Correct your spelling
developed
cities
Use synonyms
 with their whole family because sometimes it is not possible financially.
when People
Use the right word
When people
show examples
 move from rural areas to large
Use synonyms
cities
Punctuation problem
cities,
show examples
 they face difficulties with homesickness and cultural differences. In conclusion,both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views have weight and substance and reconciled under various circumstances.But I believe that its benefits overweight its drawbacks because it can be beneficial for individual growth
as well as
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the
show examples
country.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly define the positive and negative aspects in your introduction to guide your reader better.
coherence and cohesion
Use transitional phrases to improve the flow between your ideas. This will help your reader follow your thoughts more easily.
task achievement
Your examples are useful, but be more specific and clear to strengthen your points.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammar and spelling errors to improve your overall quality of writing.
task achievement
You successfully identified advantages and disadvantages of moving to big cities.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your main point well, showing a clear opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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