Some people believe that schools should teach children to be good citizens and workers rather than focusing on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a perspective that
educaiton
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education
institues
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institutions
should not only focus on academic
cources
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courses
, but
also
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teach the kids to be
a
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apply
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kind people. I strongly agree with
this
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opinion
and
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, and
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the reason will be explained in
this
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essay. One of the primary
pupose
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purposes
of schooling is teaching knowledge. It is crucial that children can learn the knowledge
systematicly
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systematically
by
apply
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applying
show examples
the different types of academic subjects in schools. Those courses are very important for kids
for understanding
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to understand
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fundemental
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fundamental
rules
which
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, which
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would be quite useful in
the
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apply
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future study or for their career.
For example
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, younger
pupil
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pupils
show examples
start to learn the basic calculation,
while
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higher grade
students
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could learn physics or chemistry
which
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, which
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is based on the knowledge they studied before.
Therefore
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, the school should try their best to let the kids
focusing
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focus
show examples
on those academic lessons.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, it is not the goal of
the
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apply
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education that
the
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apply
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students
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only concentrate on academic scoring. Because it may encourage
that
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apply
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students
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skip
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to skip
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the physical
excercise
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exercise
and
then
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leads
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lead
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to health
issue
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issues
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such
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as depression.
For instance
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,
sports
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a sports
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course is obligatory in China for those high school graduates in the period of college entry exam preparation. So, academic
institute
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institutions
show examples
should teach teenagers to practice their mindset rather than only teach them how to solve equation problems. In conclusion, schooling is necessary for all
students
Use synonyms
and they
are
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apply
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not only learn some academic subjects but
also
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be
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are
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taught
be
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to be
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a
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apply
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good and useful
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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in
the
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apply
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society.

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language
Check your spelling and grammar, especially for keywords like 'courses' and 'purpose'.
structure
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Sometimes, it is hard to see the main point.
content
Add more examples to support your points. This helps make your argument stronger.
content
You clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
content
You mention important points about health and physical exercise.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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