IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Goverments investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Goverments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
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 believe that government spending on the
arts
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,
such
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 as music and theatre, is a waste of
money
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, and
this
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money
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 should be used for public
services
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instead
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. I partly agree with
this
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 statement because
although
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 public
services
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 are important, the
arts
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also
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 play a vital role in society. On the one hand, public
services
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 like healthcare, education, and transportation are essential for the well-being of the population. Governments have a responsibility to make sure that hospitals, schools, and roads are working properly. Without enough
money
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 in these areas,
people
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 may suffer.
For example
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, in many developing countries,
people
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 cannot get proper treatment because of a lack of investment in hospitals.
Therefore
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, it makes sense that governments should
prioritize
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prioritise
show examples
 public
services
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.
On the other hand
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, the
arts
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 are
also
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 important. Music, theatre, and other cultural activities help
people
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 express themselves and feel connected to their culture. They
also
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 bring
people
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 together and can help reduce stress and improve mental health.
For example
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, during difficult times,
such
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 as the COVID-19 pandemic, many
people
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 turned to music and films to feel better.
In addition
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, the
arts
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 can attract tourists and improve the economy. So, even though they may not seem as necessary as public
services
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, they still have value. In conclusion,
while
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 it is true that governments should spend most of their
money
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 on public
services
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, I believe some investment in the
arts
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 is
also
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 necessary. A balanced approach can help
both
Verb problem
meet both
show examples
 the practical and emotional needs of
people
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.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. You could say 'I agree that public services are important, but I also believe that the arts have value.' This will make your position clearer from the start.
task achievement
Add more specific examples for both public services and the arts. For instance, mention a specific art event or public service project that shows your points.
coherence and cohesion
Use connecting words like 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Finally' to help your ideas flow better. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
content
You did a good job balancing your points by mentioning both public services and the arts.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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