IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
The information regarding the consumption of tea and
coffee
Use synonyms
 in five different cities
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia is illustrated by the bar graph.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident from the data that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 population of all cities went to
cafe
Correct article usage
the cafe
show examples
 for
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
least
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
prefer to purchase fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
. Looking at the data in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, in Sydney and Melbourne
folks
Punctuation problem
, folks
show examples
 who choose to buy fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 45%, whilst in Brisbane and
Adelaide
Punctuation problem
Adelaide,
show examples
 it was approximately 35%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in Hobart it accounted
Change preposition
for nearby
show examples
nearby
Use the right word
nearly
show examples
 37%. Moving ahead, more than 60% citizens of Sydney, Melbourne and Hobart went cafe for
coffee
Use synonyms
.
whereas
Linking Words
, in Brisbane and
Adelaide
Punctuation problem
Adelaide,
show examples
 the proposition is 55 and 50, respectively.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, inhabitants
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
show examples
 like instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 are 45% in Sydney, 47% in Melbourne and 53% in Brisbane.
Lastly
Linking Words
, 50% and 55% of city residents bought instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in Hobart and Adelaide,
Linking Words
conversely
Rephrase
respectively
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: