IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The notion of
salary
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 at
work
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 is not new, but only
until
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apply
show examples
recently has
been
Correct pronoun usage
it been
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 discussed to a larger extent. It is believed by some that they are important in life, and much has been discussed about the validity of
this
Linking Words
 argument. Personally, I tend to agree and disagree with
this
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 point of view. On the one hand, I understand why some individuals think the aforementioned notion is unjustified to some extent.
To begin
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 with, when people do a
job
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 which brings joy and passion
may make
Verb problem
,
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 they
feel
Verb problem
may feel
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 more happiness than working a high-paying
job
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but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 it is dull and repetitive
everyday
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every day
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, if someone is forced to
work
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 under too much pressure, it can harm their mental well-being and make them physically worn out.
Nevertheless
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,
salary
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 is important as it determines living
standars
Correct your spelling
standards
, allowing people to afford basic needs like food and
anything
Replace the word
other things
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, as far as I am concerned, there are more convincing reasons to be in
favor
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favour
show examples
 of the belief that,
frist
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first
off
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of
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 all, it
is
Verb problem
apply
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often shows how a person earns can indicate the level of responsibility.
For example
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, in order to receive better income, many people are ready to leave their current jobs and
work
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 in urban areas, despite the increased pressure. On top of that, a fair
salary
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 motivates
employmees
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employees
 to
work
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 harder and stay committed to their
job
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,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
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 it can
supports
Wrong verb form
support
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 their family and provide grandparents. In conclusion, I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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 that
although
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 the
salary
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 is extremely important, health and passion are
also
Linking Words
 essential to be
abke
Correct your spelling
able
 to complete the
job
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 well.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to have clearer main points in each paragraph to improve understanding. Make sure each idea is fully explained.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking your ideas better between the sentences and paragraphs. Use more transition words to show connections.
task achievement
Make sure you answer the question fully in your conclusion. Restate your main points clearly.
task achievement
You showed a good understanding of different views about salary and job satisfaction.
task achievement
The examples you provided were relevant and helped to explain your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consideration
  • sole factor
  • financial stability
  • security
  • motivating factor
  • dissatisfaction
  • demotivation
  • job satisfaction
  • overall well-being
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • vacations
  • career growth opportunities
  • skill development
  • advancement
  • determining factor
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