IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting end reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting end reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of
households
Use synonyms
 living in owned and rented
accommodation
Use synonyms
 in England and Wales from 1918 to 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of
households
Use synonyms
 in owned
accommodation
Use synonyms
 was higher than that in rented
accommodation
Use synonyms
, but it declined steadily. The reverse was true of rented
accommodation
Use synonyms
, which increased steadily until it became higher than that in owned
accommodation
Use synonyms
.
Households
Use synonyms
 in owned
accommodation
Use synonyms
 had the highest percentage in 1918, with just under 80%, but it dropped throughout the period,
while
Linking Words
households
Use synonyms
 in rented
accommodation
Use synonyms
 started from the lowest, with just over 20%, and it rose. In 1971, both
households
Use synonyms
 in owned
accommodation
Use synonyms
 and in rented
accommodation
Use synonyms
 were equal
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 50%. After the equalisation, they
then
Linking Words
 diverged steadily from each other, dropping in
households
Use synonyms
 in owned
accommodation
Use synonyms
 to around 30% in 2001,
a
Correct word choice
and a
show examples
slight increase to around 35% in 2011.
While
Linking Words
households
Use synonyms
 in rented
accommodation
Use synonyms
 continued its increase up to 2001, with about 70%, before a slight decline to just over 60% in 2011.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words households, accommodation with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • owner-occupied
  • accommodation
  • households
  • percentage
  • sozio-economic factors
  • post-World War I
  • housing policies
  • economic challenges
  • affordability
  • societal norms
  • mortgage availability
  • economic prosperity
  • reversal
  • property prices
  • younger generations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: