IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own poinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

While
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 many
people
Use synonyms
 think it is best to live with
hard
Correct article usage
a hard
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 fate, like having a boring job or suffering from
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of money. Others claim that it is better to try to alter these circumstances. I strongly agree as we only live once, we should be living a decent life with no issues. On one side of the debate
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is that some
people
Use synonyms
 may be used
and
Change preposition
to and
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 satisfied living in
hard
Correct article usage
a hard
show examples
 environment, and that may be because they do not know how to solve their problems
or
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, or
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 they do not
realize
Use the right word
realise
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 that there are numerous opportunities for them only if they decide to change.
For example
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: those
people
Use synonyms
 who are happy in their
comfortable
Replace the word
comfort
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 zone and do not wish to develop themselves.
As a result
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, everyone will grow personally, and they will be
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same place forever by their choice. On the other side. As the cost of living is constantly increasing. A lot of
people
Use synonyms
 are trying to improve themselves
work wise
Use the right word
work-wise
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, in order to get promotions.
Thus
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, the quality of their life will improve.
For instance
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: it will not be necessary for both parents to work, as one of them could stay at home to take care of the children.
As a result
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, kids will not feel the absence of their parents
and
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, and
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 the entire family will be connected. From my experience. I absolutely think that
everyone
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Everyone
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 should work on themselves to flourish in life and never settle for less. As a
Correct your spelling
result
resut
Add a comma
resut,
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 they will achieve high positions and gain respect
treatment
Correct word choice
and treatment
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 from everybody. By way of conclusion. I once again reaffirm my opinion that I agree with the latter. I
also
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 think there is no right or wrong. Each individual can choose their futures, and the most important thing
,
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apply
show examples
 is
them
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for them
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 to be responsible for their choices
consecqunces
Correct your spelling
consequences
.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly presents both views before stating your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Use connectives like 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' to improve flow and clarity.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more details and examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You clearly express your opinion on the topic, which is important for task response.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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