IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart illustrates
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 five
age
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of British
people
Use synonyms
 in different ages
donate
Correct pronoun usage
who donate
show examples
 to the charity in two years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest number of British
people
Use synonyms
 who gave money was in 1990.
However
Linking Words
, the smallest number of
another
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 was in 2010.
According to
Linking Words
 the
age
Use synonyms
 up to
50s
Add a comma
50s,
show examples
 there were
people
Use synonyms
rose
Verb problem
who raised
show examples
 the value of giving money. Approximately
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 42% of
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
 36 -50 in 1990 donated more than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 group of ages but
this
Linking Words
 value decreased to 35% in 2010. Even though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 about 17% of donations dropped to 7% of
people
Use synonyms
 in the age18 -25 across the two years 1990 and 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, across the two
years
Punctuation problem
years,
show examples
 the decrease in
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who donated turned to an increase up to the
age
Use synonyms
50s
Change preposition
of 50s
show examples
, it was 35% for
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
51
Check wording
group 51
show examples
 - 65 in 1990 became 40% in 2010,
also
Linking Words
 it was 32%
over
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
65s
Check wording
group over 65
show examples
 in 1990 rose to 35%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • charitable donations
  • age range/bracket/group
  • percentage (%)
  • 20-year period
  • British people
  • trends
  • increase/decrease
  • significant change
  • donation patterns
  • remained stable
  • highest/lowest
  • observe
  • compare
  • summarize
  • comment on
  • relevant features
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