Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time ''What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

The world is very different today. Many

children

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seem to work nowadays. Parents encourage their

children

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to have an occupation in their free

time

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This

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essay will examine what are the advantages and disadvantages to

children

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of doing so. On the one hand, there are several advantages

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for

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children

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to have an occupation in their free

time

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. First of all, it can develop their life skills.

For example

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, they could learn a lot of values and things that may help them in their life.

Also

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, they will take care of themselves

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apply

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and even have responsibility.

Second,

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they can earn some money

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apply

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and use it in many ways.

For instance

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, they will be able to buy stuff for themselves.

In addition

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, they

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also

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apply

show examples

can either help their parents with

this

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money or help other people.

Last

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but not least, they will spend their

time

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productively

instead

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of sitting at home for nothing.

Moreover

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, they will be aware

for manage

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of managing

show examples

their

day

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daytime

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time

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. To illustrate, they will be

patience

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patient

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, and can think

waisly

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wisely

On the other hand

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, there are several disadvantages to

children

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to have

Wrong verb form

having

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an occupation in their leisure

time

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Firstly

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, they will waste their studies.

For instance

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, they may have no

time

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for their homework.

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addition

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addition,

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they could be tired after a long day working.

Secondly

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, they may be deprived of

sleeping

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sleep

show examples

For example

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, if they are working

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until

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midnight, they will not have enough sleep.

Also

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this

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can

effect

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affect

show examples

their next day in the same job.

Finally

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this

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may be dangerous for them. To illustrate, if they are alone and nobody

monitor

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monitors

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them,

this

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can be dangerous

particularly

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, particularly

show examples

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

night.

Moreover

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this

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can increase stress

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apply

show examples

and make them feel uncomfortable. In conclusion, it is clear to see that there are several advantages to

children

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doing

this

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However

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, the disadvantages

definatily

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definitely

outweigh it.

alfred

Jul 28, 2025

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task achievement

Try to provide more examples to support your points. For example, you could give a specific type of job children could do and how it helps them.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure your paragraphs are clear and focused on one main idea. It will help the reader follow your thoughts better.

coherence and cohesion

Check your grammar and spelling. Some words are misspelled, such as 'definitely.' This affects the clarity of your writing.

task achievement

You clearly explained both advantages and disadvantages of having a part-time job for children.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure your writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

responsibility
punctuality
work ethic
financial literacy
budgeting
time management
work experience
career prospects
independence
self-esteem
communication
interpersonal skills
academic responsibilities
school performance
hobbies
relaxation
well-being
stress
fatigue
premature adulthood
childhood experiences

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Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time ''What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

Your opinion

Nowadays people use social media to keep in touch with others and be aware of news. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.

Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many criminals reoffened after they have been punished. Why do some people contribute to commit crimes after they have been punished, and What measures can be taken to tackle this problem?