IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph shows the number of fatal injuries (resulting in death) of workers in New Zealand between 1992 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The graph shows the number of fatal injuries (resulting in death) of workers in New Zealand between 1992 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
The graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of fatal injuries
resultingin
Correct your spelling
resulting in
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
 of
workers
Use synonyms
 in New Zealand from 1992
to2010
Correct your spelling
to 2010
.
Linking Words
Overall
Punctuation problem
Overall,
show examples
There
Fix capitalization
there
show examples
 is
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
 of
workers
Use synonyms
 increase and
deacresein
Correct your spelling
decrease in
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
show examples
.
Beagning
Correct your spelling
Beginning
 with, in
1994
Punctuation problem
1994,
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
workers
Check wording
workers'
show examples
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
show examples
 was the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
workes
Use the right word
workers
show examples
and
Fix capitalization
And
show examples
 they
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
more in 2009 to 2010 they
was in
Verb problem
In
show examples
 2009 4,551
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
2010
Change preposition
in 2010
show examples
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
they was 4,690
Punctuation problem
. absolutly
show examples
absolutly in
Rephrase
In
show examples
 the first
year
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, 1992
show examples
1992
Punctuation problem
1992,
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 in half 5,217
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 second
year
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, 1993
show examples
1993
Punctuation problem
1993,
show examples
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
presentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 and
come
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
6,331
Change preposition
to 6,331
show examples
Punctuation problem
. and
show examples
and in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
2002
Punctuation problem
2002,
show examples
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 was the half
year
Use synonyms
 tell 2007. In
concloisn
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, we can see the great
year
Use synonyms
 and small
year
Use synonyms
 they was
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
Use synonyms
number
Check wording
apply
show examples
and
smallest
Correct word choice
the lowest
show examples
Use synonyms
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, workers, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • fatal injuries
  • workers
  • New Zealand
  • 1992 to 2010
  • summarize
  • main features
  • comparison
  • trend
  • high number
  • decline
  • dangerous
  • working conditions
  • improved safety
  • regulations
  • industries
  • notable drop
  • initiatives
  • effective
  • lowest point
  • continuous efforts
  • protocols
  • protect
  • successful
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