IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say history is one of the most important subjects in schools .other people think that in today’s world subjects science and Technology are more important than history Discuss both this views and give your own opinion

Some people argued that
history
Use synonyms
 is one of the most critical courses in schools,
while
Linking Words
 others disagree about
this
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 and they claimed that
science
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 and
technology
Use synonyms
 subjects are more vital to
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 than
history
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. I support the former perspective
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 says
history
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 is an important course in
education
Replace the word
educational
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institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
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. The development of
science
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 and
technology
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 changes the daily lifestyle for every
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
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. It
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 millions of job
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
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 and
citizents
Correct your spelling
citizens
 can not avoid
to use
Wrong verb form
using
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 the
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
 or devices which all created by
such
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 progression.
For example
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, AI-powered techniques are widely used in schools for
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 purposes. Even in the
history
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 class, teachers play AI-edited videos to
virtulize
Correct your spelling
virtualise
 a battlefield of World War II
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 students understand what happened in the past. They would be distracted easily if there
is
Wrong verb form
were
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 no
such
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 AI techniques. So,
Science
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 and
technology
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 courses are important to help students understand
those
Correct pronoun usage
these
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 AI
technique
Fix the agreement mistake
techniques
show examples
, which allow them to find a related job afterwards.
Therefore
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, it is critical for children to learn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
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 and
technology
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knowledge
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, it
is
Verb problem
does
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 not
means
Correct subject-verb agreement
mean
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 that other courses
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
Use synonyms
history
Punctuation problem
history,
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 are less important than
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
 learning. People would have objective and independent perspectives by learning
history
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. They easily link
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
news with historical events to explain the real reason for what happened.
For instance
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, people who know the
principle
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principles
show examples
 of
history
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 could
analyze
Use the right word
analyse
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 the reason
of
Change preposition
for
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 the war between Russia and
Ukriane
Correct your spelling
Ukraine
 after hundreds
years
Change preposition
of years
show examples
 of close friendship. So,
history
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 is
also
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 an important course which should be
teach
Wrong verb form
taught
show examples
 in school because it can
helps
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
 kids choose a correct standpoint. In conclusion
.
Punctuation problem
,
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history
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 is a very important subject during education because it
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 the next generation understand what happened and how to avoid those problems. I am sure those issues can not be solved by
progress
Correct article usage
the progress
show examples
 of
science
Use synonyms
 and
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
.

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task response
The introduction should clearly state both views and your opinion more specifically. For example, you can say, 'Some people believe history is important, while others value science and technology more. I believe history is crucial.'
coherence cohesion
Try to link your ideas more clearly between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'on the other hand', and 'in conclusion' to guide the reader.
task response
Ensure that all your examples support your main points clearly. Instead of saying AI helps in history class, relate it directly to how understanding technology helps us learn history better.
task response
You presented both sides of the argument, which is a good approach. You also provided specific examples, like AI in classrooms, which strengthens your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • cultural awareness
  • social, economic, and political developments
  • critical thinking
  • analytical skills
  • innovation
  • economic development
  • practical skills
  • problem-solving
  • current global issues
  • climate change
  • healthcare
  • technological fluency
  • digital literacy
What to do next:
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