IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Natural resources such as oil, forests, and freshwater are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems does this cause? How can we solve these problems?

Natural
resources
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 have been overhauled and are being squandered more than ever
now
Rephrase
apply
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. The growing population and a maladroit use of
resources
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 by them have exacerbated the status of natural
resources
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 today. In the paragraphs to come,
this
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 essay shall
annotate
Verb problem
examine
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 the problem caused by
such
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 scurrying usage of natural
resources
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 and the plausible remedial measures that could be taken to assuage
such
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 problems. Talking about the problems, the most prominent one
that is
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 caused by the excessive misuse of natural
resources
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 is the fragmentation and loss of natural habitat for wild animals. It has been rife how wildlife has been marred and corroded
due to
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 the overexploitation of trees and timber for man’s use without taking the deleterious effects
of
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apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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on
earth
Correct article usage
the earth
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 as a whole.
Secondly
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, the impertinent usage of water and water bodies pollution has been severely cataclysmic to aquatic life, and not only has it wreaked havoc on the marine environment, but
also
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human
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on human
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 consumption.
Moreover
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, the seething malice that humans have caused to our planet owing to their impudent and improvident practices
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 made us lose heavily on biodiversity
particularly
Punctuation problem
, particularly
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, that have not only made the world today fall apart at the seams, but has put all the living organisms
under
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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peril. The remedies to that should be
focussed
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focused
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 on eradicating the reckless behaviour that has been widespread among human beings today. When all of us
would be
Verb problem
are
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 acknowledged
about
Change preposition
of
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 the caprice it has caused to the health and wealth of
Correct article usage
the earth
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earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
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, only
then
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 could we come to terms with the thought of protecting it
further
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. Other than that
we
Punctuation problem
, we
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 should be more cognizant about attenuating the usage of these
resources
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 or at least,
utilizing
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utilising
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 them judiciously. That shall prevent the reckless expenditure of our precious
resources
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. Controlling deforestation, wildlife conservation, saving water bodies, and coming forth to safeguard nature shall help the cause and would
instill
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instil
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 the proclivity of conservation of natural
resources
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 in the long run. Conclusively, it could
thus
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 be said that the
resources
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 that nature has gifted us are on the brink of
getting
Verb problem
being
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 extinguished. Taking the aforementioned precautionary measures would certainly help it get out of the danger zone.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction is clear and outlines the essay's focus. However, it could be more direct in stating the problems and solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Some sentences are complex and may confuse the reader. Try to use simpler structures to improve clarity.
Task Achievement
You mention some good ideas, but adding specific examples could strengthen your points. Include real-life examples if possible.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that ties back to your overall argument.
Task Achievement
You clearly identify important issues related to natural resource depletion. This shows good awareness of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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