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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

BIG SALARY IS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT YHAN JOB SATISFACTION. DO YPU AGREE OR DISAGREE

More and more people think that getting high wages is considered to be more important than being happy with
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
job
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I believe that getting a higher
salary
Use synonyms
 is important for two reasons. First of all, I believe that having a
job
Use synonyms
 with a high
salary
Use synonyms
 makes people satisfied, no matter what kind of
job
Use synonyms
 they do. In fact, money can bring happiness and pleasure.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 you work 8 hours a day in a
job
Use synonyms
 you do not like and get a high
salary
Use synonyms
 after you finish your duty skills you can enjoy
life
Use synonyms
 and spend the whole day in other things you love . A study published by NEW YORK university concluded that 90% of people who get high salaries are happy in their lives
regardless
Punctuation problem
, regardless
show examples
 of what kind of jobs they do.
As a result
Linking Words
, getting the highest wages can
provide
Verb problem
improve
show examples
 your
life
Use synonyms
 and bring you pleasure and feel happy.
In addition
Linking Words
, getting a high
salary
Use synonyms
 means having more money , which is essential for survival and a good living.
Moreover
Linking Words
, money can bring all means of comfort. It helps you
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
get all the basic things for your family or your house.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, even if someone feels happy with his
job
Use synonyms
, he can not provide what his family needs. What are the benefits of their
job
Use synonyms
? He will face a lot of
life
Use synonyms
 pressure
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
 will not enjoy his
life
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, when you get a high
salary
Use synonyms
, you can buy a big and modern house and a new expensive car. You can
also
Linking Words
 buy your family's needs, and send your children to the best school in the country.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the way to survive and live you must get a high
salary
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I believe working for a higher
salary
Use synonyms
 is essential than
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction, because you can provide for yourself and your family a good living , and
also
Linking Words
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
survive.

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task achievement
Make sure to introduce your main points clearly in your introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your sentences and ideas better.
task achievement
Try to provide specific examples that clearly connect to your points.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and support it throughout your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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