IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that charity organisations should help people wherever they live, others thinks they should attend their countries only. Discuss both and give your opinion.

There is no denying the fact that charities have helped to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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poverty. Some of them think they should extend their limits worldwide,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that they are only responsible for their community. I think
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
charity
Use synonyms
 should only attend
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 countries
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse the two points of view,
also
Linking Words
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 will explain my opinion on
this
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 topic. On the one hand, a portion of the human beings believe that
charity
Use synonyms
 establishments should consider helping all people in any country
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 they see that humans , no matter where they are from, must help them no matter what for humanity.
For instance
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, the CHR
charity
Use synonyms
 in the USA has shown its recent research, which is the famous work they did, giving money to the UK homeless , the majority of contributions were from outside
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
,
as well as
Linking Words
 the
charity
Use synonyms
 itself. I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
On the other hand
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, another portion thinks that it should help only their citizens,
due to
Linking Words
 the expenses and the payroll for the employees, so giving help to someone inside the country is less costly, compared to the outside.
For example
Linking Words
, the charities in KSA that help outside countries
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 pay more than they pay in Saudi Arabia. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. In conclusion, there is no easy way to answer
this
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 question
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that nations should be held accountable only for their citizens. For accommodation, I would advise the states to set up a campaign to educate people to establish more
charity
Use synonyms
 organisations.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion and the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more often to help your ideas connect smoothly, like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally'.
task achievement
Provide clearer examples for both sides and explain them a bit more. This will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have attempted to present both sides of the argument, which shows good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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