IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The three pie charts demonstrate the proportion of three kinds of nutrients, including
:
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fat and added
sugar
Use synonyms
 in people's daily diets, all of
these
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can be harmful if consumed in excess.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest percentages of
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat are consumed during dinner,
while
Linking Words
snacks
Use synonyms
 are the main source of added
sugar
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
breakfast
Use synonyms
 consistently contributes the lowest percentages to all three nutritional components. Regarding
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat, dinner is the largest contributor, accounting for 43% and 37%
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
. Lunch is the second largest source, making up 29% of the total amount of
sodium
Use synonyms
 and 26% of the saturated fat.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the figures for
breakfast
Use synonyms
 and
snacks
Use synonyms
 are lower.
Breakfast
Use synonyms
 occupies 14% of
Use synonyms
sodium
Correct article usage
the sodium
show examples
 and 16% of
saturated
Correct article usage
the saturated
show examples
 fat. Meanwhile,
snacks
Use synonyms
 contribute the same 14% to
sodium
Use synonyms
 intake,
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with a higher figure of 21% for saturated fat. Looking at added
sugar
Use synonyms
, the trend is completely different because
snacks
Use synonyms
 represent the largest proportion of
this
Linking Words
 area, at 42%.
This
Linking Words
 figure is nearly twice as high as the percentage of
sugar
Use synonyms
 consumed
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 dinner, which stands at 23%. 19% of the total
sugar
Use synonyms
 intake comes from lunch.
Finally
Linking Words
,
breakfast
Use synonyms
 remains the smallest source, contributing exactly 16% to the daily total of added
sugar
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, sugar, snacks, breakfast with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrients
  • unhealthy
  • typical meals
  • percentages
  • saturated fats
  • fibers
  • sugars
  • impact
  • average
  • consumption
  • trends
  • breakfast
  • lunch
  • dinner
  • highest
  • lowest
  • variation
  • implications
  • balanced diet
  • recommendations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: