IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

Learning the
difference
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 between
right
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 and wrong
behaviour
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 at an early age is essential for juveniles.
Moreover
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, some people believe that
punishment
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 is necessary to help them understand
this
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difference
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. I agree that
punishment
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 can be an effective way for
children
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 to learn about
right
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 and wrong.
To begin
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 with, developing good
behaviour
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 and learning
this
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 at an early age is important for
children
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. When
children
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 lack parental guidance, they may struggle to distinguish between
right
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 and wrong.
For instance
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, they may bully their peers unconsciously, highlighting the necessity of
punishment
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 to teach them appropriate
behaviour
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.
Furthermore
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, both
parents
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 and
teachers
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 should be permitted to use
punishment
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 as a means of teaching the
difference
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 between
right
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 and wrong.
Additionally
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,
parents
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 and
teachers
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 may employ various forms of
punishment
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. They can utilise techniques that help
children
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 understand how others feel when they engage in inappropriate
behaviour
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, or
conversely
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, when they demonstrate good
behaviour
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.
For example
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,
parents
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 or
teachers
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 might isolate a child with overbearing
behaviour
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 to illustrate its impact.
In other words
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,
teachers
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 and
parents
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 might exclude
children
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 from certain activities when they behave unkindly or persistently misbehave. In conclusion,
punishment
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 plays a crucial role in helping
children
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 learn the
difference
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 between
right
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 and wrong at an early age.
Parents
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 and
teachers
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 should be allowed to use appropriate forms of
punishment
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 to teach
children
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 good
behaviour
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure each main point has clear examples to support it. This will help your ideas be more convincing.
coherence
Try to use clearer linking words between sentences and paragraphs to improve the flow of your writing.
task achievement
Consider discussing some positive aspects of punishment as well to show a balanced view on the topic.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is great for starting the essay.
coherence
Your conclusion summarizes your main point well, which helps to reinforce your argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • positive reinforcement
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • removal of privileges
  • open communication
  • clear expectations
  • consistency
  • fairness
  • disciplinary action
  • proportionate
  • moral values
  • internalization
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