IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Interest in homeschooling is becoming more widespread around the world. In your opinion, should school be compulsory for all children, or should families be allowed the right to choose to educate their children at home? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own knowledge and experience

There has been a large upsurge in
children
Check wording
children's
show examples
 education and how it should be. There are some people
argue
Correct pronoun usage
who argue
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 that students should attend classrooms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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said
Wrong verb form
say
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 that their parents should choose
Rephrase
where their
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their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 study at
home
Use synonyms
.In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 would like to say that student should attend their
school
Use synonyms
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 am going to
elobrate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
 my views in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, if
iduction
Correct your spelling
they
 attend the
Use synonyms
school
Punctuation problem
school,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 they will come to know about social and
academis
Correct your spelling
academic
 skills, because in
school
Use synonyms
 they will get a chance to sit with peers and they can share their ideas
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
. Secondly
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Secondly
Punctuation problem
Secondly,
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 they can teach
subjact
Correct your spelling
subjects
 to each other when they do not understand from their teachers.
To
Change preposition
For
show examples
 example, in many
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 have seen that some students are not good
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 their
academics
Punctuation problem
academics,
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 even
they
Correct word choice
though they
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also
Linking Words
afrid
Correct your spelling
afraid
 to ask their master
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 their friends can help them to get a good score.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when they attend their
school
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 they can join sports to get name and fam ,because at
home
Use synonyms
 admisson only focus on their subjact but in
school
Use synonyms
 they can join a sport team, as we know some time a student is not good in their academics but he can play a better soprts,
for instance
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 a famous cricket player Virat he dropped his study in 10 class because he was not good in math so he joined a team and became a famous player in the world.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the essay with my view
Punctuation problem
, i
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 think that
school
Use synonyms
 is much better
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
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home
Use synonyms
 education because
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
Use synonyms
 they do not know how to
deals
Wrong verb form
deal
show examples
 with
academis
Correct your spelling
academic
 situations
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
school
Add a comma
school,
show examples
 they will come to know not only for their academics but
also
Linking Words
 for life, which will make them a good
socity
Correct your spelling
society
 person.

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coherence and cohesion
Make clear points in each paragraph and use topic sentences. This will help your reader follow your ideas better.
task achievement
Try to give more reasons and examples to support your opinion. This makes your argument stronger.
grammar and vocabulary
Check your grammar and spelling carefully to make your writing clearer. Avoid mistakes, as they can confuse the reader.
task achievement
You give your opinion clearly that school is better than home education.
task achievement
You provide examples from your own experience, which adds value to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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