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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station sunrise information by selecting and reporting the main features in may competitions where relevent

the diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station sunrise information by selecting and reporting the main features in may competitions where relevent
The picture illustrates the detailed process for electricity production in a hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
station
Use synonyms
. The process includes various steps by which
water
Use synonyms
 from the river produces
Use synonyms
power
Correct article usage
a power
show examples
 supply
at the end
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 grid.
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 process can be
operate
Wrong verb form
operated
show examples
 mainly during sunlight. Meanwhile,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Check wording
night
show examples
nighttime
Add a comma
nighttime,
show examples
 the
water
Use synonyms
 flows in the reverse direction.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the dam on the river acts as a high-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 which
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 intake in daytime to the
power
Use synonyms
station
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the
power
Use synonyms
station
Use synonyms
 in daytime reversible turbines operate a generator to produce energy and pass
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of the
water
Use synonyms
 flow to a low-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
generator the
Correct word order
the generator
show examples
energy
Verb problem
generates energy
show examples
uses
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 in
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 grid by passing through
power
Use synonyms
 lines.
However
Linking Words
, during the nighttime, intake of
water
Use synonyms
 flow from the
reservoir
Use synonyms
 remains close
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 from
low- level
Use the right word
the low-level
show examples
reservoir
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
water
Punctuation problem
, water
show examples
flow
Correct subject-verb agreement
flows
show examples
travels
Verb problem
apply
show examples
into a
power
Use synonyms
station
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, after sunset
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 turbine
act
Correct subject-verb agreement
acts
show examples
 as a pump; it pushes
water
Use synonyms
 to the
high level
Use the right word
high-level
show examples
-
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
reservoir
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words power, station, water, reservoir with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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