IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

1.Some people believe that governments should invest more in public services like health and education than in the arts. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Government funding should
prioritize
Use the right word
prioritise
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 sectors that directly improve citizens’ quality of life,
such
Linking Words
 as health and education.
While
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 the arts contribute cultural value, they do not have the same immediate impact as accessible healthcare or high-quality schooling. Investing in public health ensures the well-being of a nation’s workforce. A healthy population is more productive, reducing pressure on emergency services and long-term care.
Likewise
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, education lays the foundation for economic growth by creating an informed and skilled population. These benefits extend across all socioeconomic groups and contribute to national progress.
In contrast
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, the arts—
while
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 enriching—often serve a narrower demographic. Museums, opera houses, and
theater
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theatre
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 productions typically attract those already economically and culturally privileged.
Moreover
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, many artistic initiatives can be supported through private sponsorships, non-profit
organizations
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organisations
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, or ticket sales rather than relying on taxpayers’ money. In conclusion, I strongly believe government budgets should
prioritize
Use the right word
prioritise
show examples
 health and education. These sectors have far-reaching impacts on a country's development, equity, and quality of life,
whereas
Linking Words
 arts funding can be sourced from alternative means.

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task achievement
Make sure to provide examples that illustrate your points in a more detailed way.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow smoothly from one to another by using connecting words or phrases.
structure
You have a clear introduction and a strong conclusion.
content
Your main points are relevant and support your position well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • government
  • invest
  • public services
  • health
  • education
  • arts
  • priority
  • benefit
  • economy
  • population
  • funding
  • jobs
  • creative
  • culture
  • creativity
  • quality of life
  • mental health
  • budget
  • balance
  • support
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