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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that school should stop teaching students by using books, because students find them boring and that children can learn from films, TV, video games and computer instead. To what extend do you agree?

In today`s fast-paced world, everyone
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
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 that school should avoid
a
Correct article usage
apply
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books
Use synonyms
 for education
,
Punctuation problem
. In
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in contrast
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, numerous people believe that
students
Use synonyms
feel
Verb problem
find it
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 boring and
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
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 can learn from TV, films, video games and
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
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instead
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. In my opinion,
students
Use synonyms
 should learn from digital platforms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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textbook
Fix the agreement mistake
textbooks
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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also
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 key for
study
Use synonyms
.dig
To begin
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 with, people believe that
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 should avoid textbooks for education.
Due to
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this
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, if
students
Use synonyms
 stop studying from
book
Correct article usage
the book
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, they may get distracted
with
Change preposition
by
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 and online
study
Use synonyms
.
Books
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a key for pupils because it is a
treditional
Correct your spelling
traditional
 method of
study
Use synonyms
. Handwriting is
also
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 crucial for
students
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 online teaching may not focus on their writing.
Moreover
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, today`s
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 do not like reading from
books
Use synonyms
, they prefer simulation
methods
Use synonyms
 for studying.
For example
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, there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research done by Western Sydney University which says the best way to develop skills and knowledge
is come
Wrong verb form
comes
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 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, some people think that
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
 find boring from
books
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
boring and
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 can
study
Use synonyms
 from digital
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, some schools are trying online
methods
Use synonyms
 for
study
Use synonyms
, but there is
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 chance for
students
Use synonyms
,
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
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 can learn negative things from
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Correct article usage
a yonger
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yonger
Correct your spelling
younger
 age.
Furthermore
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,
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 modern platforms can damage the physical part of the body,
such
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 as
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
show examples
. Some pupils find
complexity
Check wording
it difficult
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 to learn from computers as well, because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the screen
emit
Correct subject-verb agreement
emits
show examples
lights
Fix the agreement mistake
light
show examples
.
For instance
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, there was an article in the Times of India which mentioned modern
methods
Use synonyms
 of learning can give simulation, but
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 online
methods
Use synonyms
 can
also
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 distract the young minds, and
creates
Correct subject-verb agreement
create
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 the
possibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
possibility
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 of eye
damge
Correct your spelling
damage
. In conclusion,
books
Use synonyms
 are old proven
methods
Use synonyms
 of
study
Use synonyms
, which can
helpful
Verb problem
be helpful
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 in many ways,
while
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 virtual
methods
Use synonyms
 can distract the pupils and
this
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 may
affects
Wrong verb form
affect
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 the physical part of human bodies
,
Punctuation problem
. This
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this
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 should be used fairly.

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coherence
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task achievement
Use clearer and more complete examples to support your points.
grammar
Make sure to proofread your work for grammatical errors.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic.
task achievement
You provide some examples to support your points.
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