IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The world production output from Asia, Europe, and the rest of the world in different years

The bar chart illustrates output produced in
Asia
Use synonyms
 ,
Euprope
Correct your spelling
Europe
, and
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of the
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
 in
160 years
Correct your spelling
a 160-year
 period. Fraction of the production from the rest of the
world
Use synonyms
 is
constanly
Correct your spelling
constantly
 rising almost every time period,except
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 2000. Time periods between 1840 and 1880 were dominated by
Asia
Use synonyms
 and
Europe
Use synonyms
 with 50 and 40
percents
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 in 1840 ,respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, just below one-third of the output
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 from Asian and almost half from
Europe
Use synonyms
, in 1880.The remaining 10% goes to the rest of the countries in 1840.The figure,
however
Linking Words
, reached the quarter in 1880 ,but it still remained
last
Linking Words
. The amount of output in 1920 and 1960 began to
outreach
Verb problem
outpace
show examples
Asia
Use synonyms
 and reach
Europe
Use synonyms
.Specifically,
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
 part of the
world
Use synonyms
 in
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
 year got 30% ,which is 10% more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
Asia
Use synonyms
 and 20%
fewer
Fix the agreement mistake
less
show examples
 than
Europe
Use synonyms
's results.
Finally
Linking Words
, in 1960 ,
Europe
Use synonyms
's and
Use synonyms
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
 figures
equalized
Use the right word
equalised
show examples
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 about
36
Correct article usage
a 36
show examples
% mark,
Change preposition
with outstanding
show examples
outstanding
Correct word order
Asia outstanding
show examples
Asia
Use synonyms
 by approximately 12%.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the rising tendency in other parts of the
world
Use synonyms
 stopped in 2000 , and its value declined to just over 30%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Your introduction needs to be clearer. Summarize the key details that the chart presents. Also, make sure to conclude with a clear summary of your main points.
cohesion
Try to use linking words to connect your ideas better. This will help your writing flow and be easier to understand.
clarity
Make your data comparisons more straightforward. Use simpler phrases for clarity, especially when stating percentages and changes in data.
strength
The essay presents a clear overview of data trends over time, which is important for this type of task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: