IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Although many people value public parks, some argue that this space could be better utilized for residential developments or businesses to support the growing population and boost the economy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is no denying the fact that the majority of inhabitants appreciate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public transport.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that the field would be more interesting if the government used it for public facilities, and for benefit methods that help the country financially
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 so on, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that we should maintain and seize the opportunities and build lots of areas,
additionally
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,
Verb problem
be concern
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concern
Replace the word
concerned
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 about the cooperative spirit
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due
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apply
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to return as a benefit as well.
To begin
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 with, we must concentrate on the variety of the gaps
to
Change preposition
in
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manufactring sevreral
Correct your spelling
manufacturing several
of
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apply
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activities.
In other words
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, to create buildings that
come
Verb problem
are
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 as
a
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apply
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useful as banks, restaurants, stadiums and many
advantages
Correct word choice
other advantages
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 stuff which help the ability of the communities.
In addition
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, they would expand the city
instead
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 of
car's
Check wording
cars'
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 parks and increase the capacity of the stadiums, roads, hotels and towers.
For example
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, to accommodate many thousands of citizens and even the visitors or the tourists who are from foreign
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
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. Another point to consider, the revenues will dominate and be higher than the expenses. It is
also
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 possible to say that many people are going to visit
this
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 country for tourism since the country focuses on developing the infrastructure
,
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.
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Moreover
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,
consequently
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, the other nations will respect and cooperate with the president
,
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.
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For instance
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, they will invest and launch many merit things,
such
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 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 universities, markets, stores and etc. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that we should exploit our countries, to clarify
the
Correct word choice
that the
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 authorities, president, princes, government , and traders must take care in the aspects of
this
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 society.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
task achievement
You have made an effort to present both sides of the argument and shared your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
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