People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons? What are the solutions to make people drink less.

In recent years, the topic of more and more
population
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people
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apply
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applying
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drinking sugar-based
drinks
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such
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as soda, energy
drinks
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, or sweetened juices.
This
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trend can be harmful to people’s health. There are some reasons for
this
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problem, and
also
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some ways to solve it. On the one hand, it is essential to
recognize
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recognise
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that individuals should acknowledge the significant advantages associated with the fact that sugar-based
drinks
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are very easy to buy. They are sold everywhere, from supermarkets to small shops and vending machines.
In addition
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, they are often cheaper than healthier options like fresh juice or milk. Another reason is advertising. Many companies advertise soft
drinks
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on TV, social media, and even in schools.
This
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is
due to
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the fact that
this
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makes people, especially young people, want to try and drink them more often.
On the other hand
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, it is crucial to examine the opposing viewpoint that to solve
this
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problem, governments and individuals can take action.
First,
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the government can increase the tax on sugary
drinks
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to make them more expensive.
This
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may reduce the number of people who buy them.
Second,
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schools and parents should educate children about the bad effects of sugar-based
drinks
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,
such
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as obesity and diabetes.
Finally
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, companies should be encouraged to make healthier
drinks
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with less sugar. In short, sugar-based
drinks
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are becoming more popular because they are cheap and heavily advertised. To reduce their consumption, we need to raise awareness and use policies
such
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as higher taxes to control the problem.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly address all parts of the question. You did this well, but you can add more examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas in a clear way. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument. This will help make your points clearer and more convincing.
content
You did a good job identifying reasons for the problem with sugar-based drinks. Your points about availability and advertising are strong.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sugar-based
  • drinks
  • taste
  • refreshing
  • enjoyable
  • marketing
  • advertise
  • cool
  • desirable
  • energy
  • tired
  • boost
  • social events
  • gatherings
  • parties
  • celebrations
  • choose
  • quick
  • common
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