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Band 6

the pie chart below shows the comparison of different kinds of energy production of france in two years

the pie chart below shows the comparison of different kinds of energy production of france in two years
The two pie charts illustrate the proportion of five
sources
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 of
energy
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production
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 (coal,
gas
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, nuclear, petrol and other
sources
Use synonyms
) in France in two years (1995 and 2005).
Overall
Linking Words
, in both years
coal
Punctuation problem
, coal
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 and
gas
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 accounted for over half of all
energy
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production
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,
while
Linking Words
 the least was other
energy
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sources
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. There was only a very minimal increase in
production
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 from
gas
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 and coal,
whereas
Linking Words
 nuclear and other
sources
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 almost doubled. Petrol was the only
energy
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 source to decrease over the period.
Energy
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 produced by coal comprised
of
Change preposition
apply
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29.80% in 1995
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 by 2005, it increased by about 1% to 30.9%.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the amount of
energy
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 generated by
gas
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 went up by approximately 1% from 29.63% in the first year to 30.1% by the final year. The use of nuclear power rose significantly from 6.40% in 1995 to 10.10% in 2005. Other
sources
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 of
energy
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production
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 accounted for 4.90% but
then
Linking Words
 climbed to 9.10%. Petrol,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, produced 29.27% of all
energy
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 in 1995
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 10 years
later
Punctuation problem
later,
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 only 19.55% of
energy
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 came from
this
Linking Words
 source.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sources, energy, production, gas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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