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Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar chart illustrates the percentage contribution of three economic sectors—agriculture, industry, and services—to India’s GDP

The bar chart illustrates the percentage contribution of three economic sectors—agriculture, industry, and services—to India’s GDP
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of the three spheres' contribution to India's GDP between 1960 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
agriculties'
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agriculties
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 figures were decreasing constantly over 40 years,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
services
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' ones increased and became the biggest contributor in 2000.
Additionally
Linking Words
,the
industry
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 always had the
second biggest
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second-highest
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 value among all. In 1960,
agriculture
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 was the leading direction with almost two-thirds ,
while
Linking Words
industry
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 and
services
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 had relatively small 15 and 17 per cent ,respectively.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, ten years later,
agriculture
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's rates dropped by approximately 9%,
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industry
Correct word choice
and industry
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 and
services
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arose
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rose
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. Specifically,
industry
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 climbed to 21% ,and
services
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 reached just below a quarter.The trend continued so that in 1980
agriculture
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 declined by about 8%, but
Correct pronoun usage
it still
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still was
Correct word order
was still
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 leading , surpassing
services
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 by 17%.
However
Linking Words
, in 1990,
services
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 took the leadership , outpacing
agriculture
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 by 14% and
industry
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 by 19%.
Finally
Linking Words
,at the beginning of the 20th century,
services
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 peaked at 63% ,totally dominating
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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in terms of contribution.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words services, industry, agriculture with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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