IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You want to join a new gym in your neighbourhood. Write a letter to the gym manager. In your letter ask what types of membership are available, and what the prices are ask what activities are available ask what the joining procedure is

Dear Sir or Madam, I
am
Verb problem
have
show examples
 recently moved to
this
Linking Words
 area, and
interested
Verb problem
am interested
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to enroll
Change preposition
in enrolling
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 in some
gym
Use synonyms
 activities.
Thus
Linking Words
, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to you, enquiring about
gym
Use synonyms
membership
Use synonyms
 details, pricing, activities offered, and
registration
Correct article usage
the registration
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 process.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I would like to know about the different kinds of memberships available at your
gym
Use synonyms
 centre,
along with
Linking Words
 their prices. I want to know,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 there any discounts available if I
would
Verb problem
apply
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make the whole
membership
Use synonyms
 payment
in
Change preposition
at
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 one time?
For example
Linking Words
, if I make
an
Correct article usage
a
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 yearly
membership
Use synonyms
 payment in
lump
Correct article usage
a lump
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 sum
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
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 how much benefit
I will
Correct word order
will I
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 get in terms of discount?
Secondly
Linking Words
, please inform me
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 type of activities offered at your
gym
Use synonyms
. I am interested in running exercises, push-ups,
dumble-lifting
Use the right word
dumbbell lifting
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. It would be appreciated
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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If
Fix capitalization
if
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 I could get a personal trainer
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 who can guide me thoroughly
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 on how to use any relevant equipment safely, and
also
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
could
Verb problem
apply
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assist me
to plan
Change preposition
in planning
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 my diet chart.
Lastly
Linking Words
, I need to confirm about registration procedure to join
this
Linking Words
gym
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 what identity documents I
required
Verb problem
need
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 to submit; do I need to visit
personally
Correct word order
apply
show examples
at
gym
Use synonyms
for
Correct word order
personally for
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 registration, or
it can
Correct word order
can it
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 be done online; how long
it
Verb problem
will it
show examples
would
Verb problem
apply
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take to complete the joining process, and to receive
Use synonyms
membership
Correct article usage
a membership
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 card? I'm looking forward to
Wrong verb form
hearing
show examples
hear
Change the verb form
hearing
show examples
 from you promptly
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 so that I can join the
gym
Use synonyms
 as soon as possible. Yours sincerely, Kanwalpreet Kaur

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to organize your ideas clearly. Each paragraph should focus on one main point. This helps the reader follow your thoughts easily.
task achievement
Use polite language throughout the letter, especially when making requests. This will make your tone more friendly and respectful.
greeting and closing
You were polite and respectful in your greeting and closing.
complete response
You clearly stated your questions and what you want to know about the gym.
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