IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world
The pie chart demonstrates the proportion of
water
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 used for three different purposes—namely
indusrial
Correct your spelling
industrial
, agriculture, and domestic—in six areas around the world.
Overall
Linking Words
, the agricultural
water
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use
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 accounts for the largest percentage in four regions, including South
America
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, Africa, Central
Asia
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, and Southeast
Asia
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.
However
Linking Words
, the industrial
water
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use
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, in the left two areas, makes up the largest proportion
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 total consumption. The largest share of
agriculture
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agricultural
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water
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 consumption is
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Central
Asia
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, which is 88%. Following
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Africa and South East
Asia
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 with 84% and 82% respectively,
while
Linking Words
 South
America
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 reports a much lower share
just
Punctuation problem
, just
show examples
 over 70%. Domestic
water
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use
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 is ranking second in South
America
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, Africa, and Central
Asia
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 with 19%, 9%, and 7%
seperately
Correct your spelling
separately
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, in Southeast
Asia
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, the
water
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 consumption
on
Change preposition
in
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 industry(12%) represents the second
large
Correct word choice
largest
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 proportion. In Europe, the percentage of industrial
water
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use
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 (53%) is the highest, with 48%
on
Change preposition
in
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 North
America
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. The
use
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 of agriculture ranks second in North
America
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as well as
Linking Words
 Europe, accounting for 39% and 32%. The share of
domastic
Correct your spelling
domestic
water
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use
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 is
approximate
Replace the word
approximately
show examples
 in Europe and North
America
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, with 15% slightly over 13%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use, america, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
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