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Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of people in Great Britain living alone by age and sex in 2004/2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of people in Great Britain living alone by age and sex in 2004/2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This
Linking Words
 bar graphic demonstrates the percentage of individuals who live in Great Britain themself by
age
Use synonyms
 and gender in 2004/05.
Overall
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, the contributions of males in young people were smaller
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
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females
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, for senior citizens, the rate of women who lived alone was higher than men. It can obviously be seen that young girls
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
tended to stay with their families or friends.
According to
Linking Words
 the supported chart,
this
Linking Words
 situation can be clearly seen in the
age
Use synonyms
 25~44, the percentage between male and female
achieved
Verb problem
is
show examples
 almost 10%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, more
females
Use synonyms
 aged over 65 lived alone. Especially among those over 75, the proportion of
females
Use synonyms
 living alone was almost twice as high as that of males, reaching 58%. The other salient point is the percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people who lived alone sharply
rase
Verb problem
rises
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 with
age
Use synonyms
increaseing
Correct your spelling
increasing
. Depending on the information, more than 60% of
females
Use synonyms
 and 20% of males over the
age
Use synonyms
 of 75 lived alone.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, females with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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