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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The chart below shows the total number of minutes of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the total number of minutes of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates information regarding the number of
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
local, National and international
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
mobiles
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
worth, in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 over
eight
Correct determiner usage
an
show examples
Use synonyms
years
Use the right word
eight-year
show examples
period
Use synonyms
 between 1995 and 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, what can be seen from the graph is that the main development over the
period
Use synonyms
 was a significant increase in the
mobiles
Use synonyms
, national and international
calls
Punctuation problem
calls,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 the other experienced downward trends over the
years
Use synonyms
 given. The number of national and international
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
mobiles
Fix the agreement mistake
mobile
show examples
 calls increased. The amount of local
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
show examples
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 increased over 5
Use synonyms
years
Correct your spelling
5-year
period
Use synonyms
 between 1995 and 1999 gradually
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the amount of local
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
show examples
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 decreased
4
Change preposition
over 4
show examples
Use synonyms
years
Correct your spelling
4-year
period
Use synonyms
 between 1999 and 2002.
Use synonyms
Mobiles
Fix the agreement mistake
Mobile
show examples
 calls rocketed
8
Change preposition
over 8
show examples
Use synonyms
years
Correct your spelling
8-year
period
Use synonyms
 between 1995 and 2002.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words mobiles, years, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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