In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this changed occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Nowadays, the youth relate more often with their peers rather than family.
This
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most often occurs because they tend to study together
and
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, and
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there are minimal rules with friendship. People should be encouraged to spend quality
time
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with loved ones
,
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;
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however
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,
this
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must not be made compulsory.
To begin
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with, peers learn together both in
school
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and outside of it. Most of the
time
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, certain group assignments increases the number of hours spent together.
Additionally
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, individuals stay much longer with colleagues
due to
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the fact that rules are
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
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or
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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do not even exist at all.
For instance
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, in high
school
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, homework on science and technology
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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most of the
time
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completed by students by reaching out to the environment outside of their
school
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. Converesly,
this
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breeds negative behaviors,
hence
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, some degree of parental control is safe, even though kids need socialization to improve on their skills.
School
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children pick up bad attitudes and behaviors from friends,
therefore
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, a little control from parents or family is positive.
Also
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, it is appropriate to have quality
time
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with family members, share ideas and learn performance of house chores. A recent study revealed that, people who reduced the number of hours they spent with friends became prominent individuals,
whereas
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those who were given the free will of socializing away from home had recorded cases of crime. There are several reasons why children prefer mingling with others
,
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;
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however
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, there must be some sort of parental guidance to sharpen their
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
for a better tomorrow.

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task
Improve task response by giving a clear stance and directly answer both parts of the question. Add a short plan in the intro and make one idea in each paragraph.
coherence
Improve coherence and cohesion by planning a clear plan for the essay: intro with idea of what you will say, body with one main idea each, short end. Use link words to show how ideas fit.
grammar
Use simple grammar and fix errors. Shorten long sentences and fix spell problems so the text is easy to read.
examples
Use real, simple examples that fit the point you make so the reader sees the point well.
content
There is a effort to answer the question and to show a view.
coherence
Link words like and, but, also show some flow between ideas.
content
The essay talks about both sides and shows a balance of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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