The supplied line chart compares the proportion of female employees in 4 nations, namely the US, France, Afghanistan and Korea, in 2 decades starting from 1985.

The supplied line chart compares the proportion of female employees in 4 nations, namely the US, France, Afghanistan and Korea, in 2 decades starting from 1985.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The supplied line chart compares the proportion of female employees in 4 nations, namely the US, France, Afghanistan and Korea, in 2 decades starting from 1985.
The graph provides data
regardig
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regarding
the percentage of women employed in the USA,
Korea
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,
Afganistan
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Afghanistan
, and
France
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between 1985 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the highest level of
emploement
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employment
throughout the
period
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was in the USA. It is
also
Linking Words
evident that by the end of the
period
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, the proportion of working females increased in the US,
France
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, and
Korea
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,
wheras
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whereas
in
Afganistan
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Afghanistan
, it dropped dramatically. Focusing first on the nations where the percentage of employment among women rose, in 1985, approximately 20%, just over 30%, and around 45% of females worked in
Korea
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,
France
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, and the USA.
However
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, in 1990, the proportion of them in
France
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hit a low of about 30%,
while
Linking Words
in
Korea
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and America, the percentages continued to increase, reaching the level of a third and over half female workers by 1995. By the end of the
period
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, the figures rose to almost 40%, over 50, and just under 60%, respectively. As for
Afganistan
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Afghanistan
, at the beginning of the
period
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, 1 in 3 of
females
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the females
show examples
were employed, which hit a high of just under 40% in 10 years.
However
Linking Words
, by 2005, the proportion decreased dramatically to nearly 0%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words korea, france, period with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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