IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

There are fewer and fewer differences between countries. People around the world may watch the same kinds of TV series, buy goods of same brands, and follow the same trends. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon.

As
Change preposition
With
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 the development of globalisation, the boundaries between different cultures are fading away. People from different countries may share similar preferences and fashion trends. I will discuss both pros and cons. To start with, the increasing similarity of
culture
Use synonyms
 could foster connectivity of the world. People from different regions have more common preferences and lifestyles.
For example
Linking Words
, A chinese can discuss the World Club and Rubby 7 with an Italian online and watch the game at the same time to develop
common
Correct article usage
a common
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 experience and friendship. More importantly, we can easily find
simliar
Correct your spelling
similar
 products, like Starbucks and KFC, in different
community
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communities
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. It means that we can maintain our lifestyle regardless of the
geographcial
Correct your spelling
geographical
 location. It largely reduces the potential
culture
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 shock and enhances the mobility of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global
talents
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talent
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, we should
also
Linking Words
 take a look at the drawbacks. The current globalised trend is mostly from economically strong regions, like the USA and the EU. The traditional cultures and habits from underprivileged countries are disappearing.
According to
Linking Words
 Harvard University research, there is at least one language
disappears
Correct pronoun usage
that disappears
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 every 5 years. It is
threathening
Correct your spelling
threatening
 the cultural diversity. Those affected people might lose their self-identity and sense of belonging.
In addition
Linking Words
, local enterprises struggle to survive
due to
Linking Words
 the
over expansion
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over-expansion
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 of
MNC
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MNCs
, like
Coca-cola
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Coca-Cola
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. It might affect the local economy too. All in all, the development of similarity of the
culture
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 and lifestyle facilitates global interaction, communication and talent mobility,
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 threatening the existence of traditional
culture
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 and local small businesses. We should pay close attention to
preserv ing
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preserving
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 the local
culture
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 too.

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task response
Task response: The essay answers the question and shows both sides, but it lacks depth in ideas. Add more strong points and explain them clearly. Be careful with facts and be sure ideas match the task.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The essay has some good links and a basic order. Use a clear order: intro, one paragraph for pro, one for con, then a short ending. Each paragraph needs one main idea and one or two clear examples. Fix spelling and grammar for a smooth read.
structure
The writer shows both sides and ends with a balance.
coherence
Some linking words help ideas to flow.
content
Brand examples are used in the text.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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