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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph shows the percentage of UK adolescents following a vegetarian diet.

The graph shows the percentage of UK adolescents following a vegetarian diet.
The ratio of
young
Correct article usage
the young
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UK
Use synonyms
 population following a vegetarian diet is described in the graph. The data was collected from 1980 to 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the beginning, there was a
moderately
Replace the word
moderate
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 rise and fall of the vegetarian diet
from
Change preposition
among
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UK
Use synonyms
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
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.
However
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
from
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 2015 til the end of the
period
Use synonyms
, there was a
significantly
Replace the word
significant
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 increase
by
Change preposition
in
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 the
large
Correct word choice
apply
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number of
vegetarianism
Replace the word
vegetarians
show examples
. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
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,
according to
Linking Words
 the
period
Use synonyms
 from 1980 to 2000,
UK
Use synonyms
 teenagers saw a
slightly
Replace the word
slight
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 rise from nearly 200000
individuals
Use synonyms
 to about 250000
individuals
Use synonyms
 from 1980 to 1985. The young British remained fluctuating during the
period
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 from 1985 to 1995.During 1995 to 2000, the adolescents rose noticeably from 200000
individuals
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 to nearly 400000
individuals
Use synonyms
. Moving to the
period
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 from 2000 to 2020, the youngster witnessed a significant fall from about 400000
individuals
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 to under 200000
individuals
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2010.
The
Change preposition
During the
show examples
period
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2015, the number of young
UK
Use synonyms
 population fluctuated
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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then
Linking Words
 it increased dramatically to 900000
individuals
Use synonyms
 in 2020.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, period, individuals with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percent
  • percentages
  • teens
  • teens's? (ignore)
  • not eat meat
  • eat meat
  • diet
  • rise
  • increase
  • growth
  • fall
  • decrease
  • change
  • over time
  • period
  • year
  • years
  • overall
  • trend
  • data
  • graph
  • show
  • people
  • in the UK
  • health
  • healthier
  • care for animals
  • environment
  • family
  • friends
  • school
  • media
  • reason
  • cause
  • perhaps
  • maybe
  • more
  • less
  • some
  • many
  • few
  • almost
  • nearly
  • significant
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