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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph shows the percentage of UK adolescents following a vegetarian diet.

The graph shows the percentage of UK adolescents following a vegetarian diet.
The ratio of
young
Correct article usage
the young
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UK
Use synonyms
 population following a vegetarian diet is described in the graph. The data was collected from 1980 to 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the beginning, there was a
moderately
Replace the word
moderate
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 rise and fall of the vegetarian diet
from
Change preposition
among
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UK
Use synonyms
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
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.
However
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
from
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 2015 til the end of the
period
Use synonyms
, there was a
significantly
Replace the word
significant
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 increase
by
Change preposition
in
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 the
large
Correct word choice
apply
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number of
vegetarianism
Replace the word
vegetarians
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. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
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,
according to
Linking Words
 the
period
Use synonyms
 from 1980 to 2000,
UK
Use synonyms
 teenagers saw a
slightly
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slight
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 rise from nearly 200000
individuals
Use synonyms
 to about 250000
individuals
Use synonyms
 from 1980 to 1985. The young British remained fluctuating during the
period
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 from 1985 to 1995.During 1995 to 2000, the adolescents rose noticeably from 200000
individuals
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 to nearly 400000
individuals
Use synonyms
. Moving to the
period
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 from 2000 to 2020, the youngster witnessed a significant fall from about 400000
individuals
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 to under 200000
individuals
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2010.
The
Change preposition
During the
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period
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2015, the number of young
UK
Use synonyms
 population fluctuated
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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then
Linking Words
 it increased dramatically to 900000
individuals
Use synonyms
 in 2020.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, period, individuals with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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