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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart gives information about the proportion of children, men and women eating fruit and vegetables daily in the United Kingdom between 2001 and 2008

The bar chart gives information about the proportion of children, men and women eating fruit and vegetables daily in the United Kingdom between 2001 and 2008
The bar graph provides data about the percentage of kids, males and females having fruit and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of girls increased significantly over the period,
while
Linking Words
 the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of boys rose slightly.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
figure
Check wording
number
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 of youngsters went up slowly. From 2001 , the number of children remained stable by 12 % before
uplifting
Verb problem
increasing
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 sharply by 18 % in 2004.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of guys remained the same by 18 % in 3 years from the start, until growing marginally by 20 % in 2004. From 2001 to 2004, the percentage of women was 23 % at the beginning of the period,
then
Linking Words
 it
reached
Verb problem
rose
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 steadily by 28 %
at the end
Linking Words
 of the year. The percentage of people by women, from the start
by
Change preposition
at
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 28 % in 2004,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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peaked at 34 % in 2006 before decreasing sharply by 30 % in 2008. In 2004, the proportion of men was 20 %,
then
Linking Words
 it moved upward considerably by 28 % until
downing up
Verb problem
dropping
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 by 26 % in 2008.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of kids stood at 18 % in 2004 before falling by 23 % in 2008.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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