Some people change to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their health but also benefits the world as a wide. Discuss they view and give your own opinion

Current
Correct article usage
The current
show examples
state of nature and living
animals
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
been worsening for the past century,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is
due to
Linking Words
several
humans'
Fix the agreement mistake
human'
show examples
activities,
hunting
Change preposition
including hunting
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
and eating them
amongst
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, many people around the globe decided not to eat
animals
Use synonyms
nor
Correct word choice
or
show examples
fish
Use synonyms
no more. In my opinion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
think their view is inaccurate and irrational. Indeed,
wild life
Use the right word
wildlife
show examples
must be protected, as wild
animals
Use synonyms
must not be hunted to extinction, nor
fish
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
porhibiting
Correct your spelling
prohibiting
eating meat and
fish
Use synonyms
would not work
due to
Linking Words
several reasons,
for example
Linking Words
, the human body needs
protien
Correct your spelling
protein
to function, the main sources of
protien
Correct your spelling
protein
are eggs, meat, and
fish
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
show examples
it is not possible to live on only vegetarian food.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a few
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
of people consuming only vegetables and fruits will not provide change
nor
Correct word choice
or
show examples
benefit to the
world
Use synonyms
, since other humans in the amount of billions would not stop. There are other ways that would lead to benefit the
world
Use synonyms
as wide, which lots of authorities are already following,
for example
Linking Words
, building wildlife
sanctuary
Fix the agreement mistake
sanctuaries
show examples
, like PETA does, or
puting
Correct your spelling
putting
fines on poaching
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and hunting endangered species.
In addition
Linking Words
, people should know that authorities and large
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
are making sure to provide shelter to endangered
animals
Use synonyms
and punishing poachers and those who
endangere
Correct your spelling
endanger
wild life
Use the right word
wildlife
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
concered
Correct your spelling
concerned
citizens who wish to make a change and be a part of benefiting the
world
Use synonyms
can volunteer to work for PETA or any other
wild life
Use the right word
wildlife
show examples
concered
Correct your spelling
concerned
organization
Use the right word
organisation
show examples
. In
conclusin
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
state of nature and living
animals
Use synonyms
have been worsening for the past century,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is
due to
Linking Words
several
humans'
Fix the agreement mistake
human'
show examples
activities.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
changing to eat no more meat
nor
Correct word choice
or
show examples
fish
Use synonyms
is irrational, because a human body needs
protien
Correct your spelling
protein
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, benefiting the
world
Use synonyms
can be done by volunteering
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
concered
Correct your spelling
concerned
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Check your spelling and fix common mistakes (for example, protien -> protein, concered -> concerned, porhibiting -> prohibiting).
organization
Make your argument clear. State your view first, then give reasons. Use one idea per paragraph with a clear topic sentence.
development
Use simple facts and explain how they support your point. Give one or two examples that fit the idea.
coherence
Link your paragraphs with easy words like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'for example', 'in addition'.
content
The essay shows a clear stand on the topic.
content
Some ideas about wildlife protection are mentioned.
content
There is an attempt to link to actions by groups such as PETA.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
Look at other essays: