IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Your local council is considering closing a sports and leisure center that it runs, in order to save money. Write a letter to local council. In the letter: Give details of how you and your friends use the centre. Explain why the sports and leisure center is important for the local community. Describe the possible effects on local people if the center closes.

I am writing
the
Correct article usage
this
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 letter to request
you
Correct word choice
that you
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to
Verb problem
apply
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reconsider your decision to close
a
Correct article usage
the
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 Earnclife recreation
Use synonyms
center
Use the right word
centre
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 that we have in our community. As you know, we have more than 8 thousand members in our society
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it is
only the
Correct word order
the only
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one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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 and
lesiure
Correct your spelling
leisure
Use synonyms
center
Use the right word
centre
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 where we can go in our free time. The decision to shout down the
Use synonyms
center
Use the right word
centre
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 was shocking news not only for me but
also
Linking Words
 for the dwellers. I
Linking Words
along
Punctuation problem
, along
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 with my nearest and dearest
usually
Punctuation problem
, usually
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 visit it in the evening for the purpose of doing daily exercises.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I have noticed the majority of teenagers enjoy swimming, and other
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 there, and locals usually spend a significant amount of time there. Children
also
Linking Words
 play indoor games under the
supervison
Correct your spelling
supervision
 of their parents. If
this
Linking Words
 place is shut down, many people will feel dejected
,
Punctuation problem
.
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 I personally believe that teenagers who use
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
center
Use the right word
centre
show examples
 would get
involve
Wrong verb form
involved
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 in forbidden activities in their spare time. If cutting the cost is
main
Correct article usage
the main
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 reason, I am sure there would be alternatives. I have already talked to several members
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 all of them are against closing the place. I
hoping
Wrong verb form
hope
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 you will rethink
about
Change preposition
apply
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your decision for the betterment of
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
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 community. Yours faithfully, Rupinder Kaur.

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task response
Add more facts or numbers to show why the center matters and to back up your points.
coherence cohesion
Break long sentences into shorter ones and use clear links between ideas.
tone and style
Check grammar and spelling to keep a formal tone.
content strength
The letter mentions three main ideas: usage, importance, and effects.
structure strength
It ends with a formal closing.
tone strength
It shows care for the local community.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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