IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Fewer students are studying science at school and university, favouring more computer-based subjects instead. Is this a positive or negative development? What are the reasons for this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

A quite a bit
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 university and school
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
prefer
compute-based
Use the right word
computer-based
show examples
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
then
Linking Words
 science
there
Punctuation problem
. There
show examples
 are a lot of
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 behind
this
Linking Words
. We will know it and say
Correct word choice
whether is
show examples
is it
Correct word order
it is
show examples
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 or negative development. The reason behind a
student
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
study
Replace the word
studying
show examples
computer
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 subject is
they
Correct word choice
that they
show examples
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
don'
t
Use synonyms
 like science or biology. They don'
t
Use synonyms
 like to know
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 rules and physics
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 know about
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
they are not attracted to knowledge about the Earth.
For example
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
student
Correct article usage
the student
show examples
 didn'
t
Use synonyms
study
Use synonyms
 science
he
Correct word choice
because he
show examples
 didn'
t
Use synonyms
 want to be in
scientific
Correct article usage
a scientific
show examples
specialty
Use the right word
speciality
show examples
. There is a
student
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who like
show examples
like
Replace the word
likes
show examples
computer
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 because they want to be aware of
technology
Use synonyms
. The future
technology
Use synonyms
 plus AI for
this
Linking Words
, they prefer to
study
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
computer -based
Use the right word
computer-based
show examples
 subjects.
For example
Linking Words
, the person who
Use synonyms
study
Correct subject-verb agreement
studies
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 maybe he
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 to be
from
Change preposition
among
show examples
 the people who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the progress and development of societies. In our world the
technology
Use synonyms
 is important. We should develop it and
study
Use synonyms
 it for the reason I say it
developed
Wrong verb form
develops
show examples
 societies. In conclusion , people who prefer
Use synonyms
study
Verb problem
to study
show examples
computer
Use synonyms
-based subjects
than
Change preposition
over
show examples
 other
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
, they are develop societies. From my experience, I think people
like
Correct pronoun usage
who like
show examples
 to
study
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
is more
Verb problem
are
show examples
 smarter than others because they need to know everything about
technology
Use synonyms
not
Punctuation problem
, not
show examples
 like only pens or
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
show examples
 about energy. They should
informed
Verb problem
be informed
show examples
 and
knowledge
Replace the word
knowledgeable
show examples
 about anything. On
technology
Use synonyms
 to let them
self
Check wording
apply
show examples
know how to use
Use synonyms
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
. Actually, it's a positive development because
it's
Verb problem
it
show examples
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
 skills and understand the world around us.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Plan your answer by clearly stating your view in the first sentence and then give 2 or 3 clear reasons with simple details.
structure
Use one idea per paragraph with a clear topic sentence and a short conclusion for that paragraph.
language
Check spell and word use; spell 'computer-based' correctly and avoid 'compute-based'. Use common words and short sentences.
development
Give real examples or facts to back your reasons, even small ones from daily life or known facts.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas (first, also, next, for example, in addition) so the writing flows.
idea
The essay shows a view that tech and new tools can help society.
structure
The conclusion says the view is positive, which keeps a clear stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Career prospects
  • Digital innovation
  • Economic growth
  • Perceived as
  • Accessible
  • Practical fields
  • Traditional science fields
  • Expertise
  • Innovation
  • Environmental science
  • Integration of computer technologies
  • Primary field of study
  • Long-term implications
  • Research and development
  • Critical scientific areas
What to do next:
Look at other essays: